Day 314

I didn’t listen to meditation when I went to bed last night. I was so tired I thought I’d fall asleep instantly. I was very unsettled and it took me too long to fall asleep. I missed meditation. I then had terrible dreams and ended up sleeping in.

The bad dreams really stuck with me all day. I guess they were how I’ve been feeling but seeing it happening in the dream made it all feel so much worse and so much more real. I’ve really been getting wrapped up in my own world lately and I’ve almost stopped communicating with the outside world. The most I’m really doing is replying to comments on here (and it’s been taking me days … I’m sorry!) The loneliness really stings.

It took me a while to get into the day but eventually I Puddled, doodled, watercoloured, Frenched and took a photo of our little rescued succulent for the creative stuff.

For today’s watercolour, I took inspiration from the Yaquina Head Lighthouse at Newport Oregon.

For my 10 minute doodle, that took 15 minutes, I drew fingers.

In today’s Adventures of Arthur Puddles we find him at the city skate park, wearing a white t-shirt and grinding the rails for White T-Shirt Day. He thought the white t-shirt made him look like a skater. I think he fit in very well.

arthurpuddles.art.blog

We replanted this little succulent in July 2019. This is the first time I’ve seen it in months. It was hidden behind some other pot plants. It’s grown so much!! See the planting photos here.

While I haven’t really felt like doing the day, I did get some things done. I spent some time outside in the sun and I spent some time cleaning the kitchen. It wasn’t a wasted day.

I hope your day has been filled with sunshine and smiles.

Tilly

Day 257

I slept in a little bit. Well I should say, I tossed and turned until about 8.30 am, with brief interludes of sleep. It really wouldn’t have made much difference if I got up or if I had of kept pretending to be asleep, I didn’t do much with the day. Hubby was the hero of the day and did some housework.

I visited Art for Kids Hub so that I could say I did something. I chose How to Draw An Ice Skater. I’ve really been enjoying these easy cartoon sketches. They’re definitely helping build some ideas for the Penguin Project.

I tried to do a little more drawing but I find it very hard to concentrate when hubby is home.

So yesterday I didn’t write anything and it felt weird. I knew I couldn’t write how I was feeling because I knew it was irrational and I really didn’t want anyone to worry.

Yesterday I was doing the normal Sunday WoW thing and once again it was missing something. It was different to the last few weeks, in that, I had a couple of ‘new friends’ (friends of a friend) join us. That made for some easy dungeons but by the third dungeon, one of the guys kept calling me on all the mistakes I was making. I knew that it was tongue in cheek and he really didn’t mean anything by it but it sucked nonetheless.

I was annoyed at myself for letting nothing turn into something and then to let it really affect my mood. Of course that made the whole thing feel worse. The smallest things can sometimes flip the depression switch and a harmless comment can turn into hours of obsessive thinking and days of sadness.

I’m just going to try and stay as distracted as possible this week. I don’t know how to deal with my head right now.

I hope the upcoming weeks is filled with happiness, family, good times and creativity.

Tilly

Day 254

Today started just before 6 am. Who needs sleep anyway? While this wasn’t an ideal start to the day, I was determined to stay focused anyway. That all fell apart just after hubby left for work.

Homer sat at the window looking slightly agitated. I knew that meant someone was out there. I went to check what was going on and there was a person taking things from our recycling bin. My first thought was they were going to take the bin (it wouldn’t surprise me if that happened, seeing this person had just watched hubby driving away.) I banged on the window and gave him the ‘what the?!?’ hands. This stranger indicated he was just stealing trash like it’s no big deal. IT WAS A BIG DEAL.

I then spent the next hour trembling with a mix of fear and anger. I haven’t left the house (for years) because I’m scared of people. I just want to have a place I can feel safe and stuff like that doesn’t make me feel safe. It makes me feel vulnerable and weak. So while this person went about their day (stealing trash), I got to sit around feeling terrible AND today hubby had his work Xmas party, so I had to be home alone well into the night.

Once I’d finally calmed down enough, I worked out. It was painful. I’m not sure if it was physically painful or mentally painful. It was at that point I knew the day was going to be a wasted day. I decided to do one art and then just try and… chill!

I went to Art for Kids Hub to try and find some light-hearted art. I chose “How to Draw a Funny Meatball Sub.”

The only other productive thing I did was French. I found it very hard to focus on what I was doing. Thankfully I had a lot of easier practice runs, so I still got most of them right.

I want to forget today has happened.

I hope your day was filled with smiles, friends, family and love. I’m sorry if you’re missing someone right now. I know how much it hurts to not be with the person you want. *HUGS*

Tilly

Day 253

The day started almost an hour after alarm time. I have no idea how I managed to sleep through. I guess I needed it. I didn’t feel like working out but soon as hubby had left for work, I did it. I was feeling pretty tight on my right side and at first it really hurt to do things. Eventually the workout seemed to stretch out whatever it was.

I’m glad I decided to make Art for Kids Hub my first stop of the creative day. The hardest decision is which of the 100’s of videos do I want to try today. I chose how to draw a blue bird.

Next it was time to try colouring my ‘sad girl’ sketch from yesterday. I had the same problem super quick; the paper got overworked. I definitely need paper that can handle my rough treatment better…. or I should be softer with colouring.

It’s been really hard trying to get a photo of these sketches. When I take them somewhere with bright light, you can really see how beat up the paper is. So I’ve been taking them in a spot with less light and brightening them digitally to try and hide the paper flaws.

I don’t remember when I did French but I did it. Who knows if it was a good practice though.

I hope you’ve had a wonderful day filled with smiles, special friends and success.

Tilly

Day 252

Another day started at alarm o’clock. I wasn’t feeling that excited about the day and woke up slowly over a cup of coffee. Soon as hubby had disappeared to work, I got to working out. It was the shot of energy I needed to start art-ing.

The first stop was Art for Kids Hub. Today I chose a ski boat.

I started working on a new ‘girl’ sketch. I think I have the basic shape worked out (but maybe not) and I’ll try colouring it tomorrow. I used a reference by LaLunatique from the Sad Valentine set.

There wasn’t a lot more to the day. I did some housework and I worked on French.

I hope your day has been filled with happiness and creativity.

Tilly

Day 251

I woke up just after alarm time and started the day with snuggles from Homer dog. He’s not really a snuggly dog, especially in Summer, but today he couldn’t get enough. It was a nice way to start a long hot day.

Once hubby jumped off to work, I got to working out. I was looking forward to it even though I could still feel some aches from last weeks epic workouts. I thought that I would find it much harder to stay motivated through Summer but the heat hasn’t bothered me yet. I still want to do it and enjoy it. So crazy!! Never thought I’d hear myself saying that.

After the workout I spent a little time looking for art supplies. I take forever to make decisions when it comes to buying things, so I figured I’d get in early on some Christmas shopping. (Plus hubby will be near an art supplies place on Friday, I gotta make some decisions!!!)

Before getting to art-ing I worked on French. I really tried to focus but kept making silly mistakes like hitting the wrong number for multiple choice answers. Overall it was a pretty good practice. I’ll spend the next week doing more practice and hopefully start a new batch of words soon. It feels like it’s been a while since I’ve done new words.

Then it was time to art. I’ve decided that every day this week I will start my art day with something from Art for Kids Hub. They’re cute, quick and will get my creativity started. Today I chose a zombie taco.

I tried to finish the girl on a chair sketch that I started the other day. I reaaaally should have just restarted. By the time I was done the paper looked so beat up…as did the girl. I learned a lot about trying to layer and blend with these pencils. I look forward to my next try.

Once I had finished the girl the day was pretty hot, so I did some relaxing. Next year I plan on having a much stricter ‘learning’ schedule. I don’t think I’m as far along as I could have been with a little more effort.

I hope your day has been filled with deliciousness.

Tilly

Day 248

The day started before 6 am, thanks to Homer dog. Strangely, I wasn’t too worried about the early start and settled in for some Youtube videos before hubby woke up. Once he had, we did normal morning things (COFFEE!!!!!) and chatted before he fluttered off to work.

It was the last day of the workout week and I dived right into it. I forgot what I was doing half way through and did it all out of order but… I did it. I have pushed myself so hard this week and despite the incredibly tired muscles, I really enjoyed it.

Next I spent some time trying to find some art-spiration on Unsplash. I found a reference of a woman sitting on a stool, the photo is captioned ‘Tell me the truth‘. I loved the emotion and pin-up qualities of the photo. I spent about an hour on the main part of the sketch and about three hours on the left foot (which is still terrible.)

This is definitely something I want to finish, I just didn’t have the heart for it today. Plus the paper was getting pretty worn so I might have to redo it completely.

By 3 pm I was feeling pretty lousy but I tried to stay distracted. French was a poor choice. This was one of the worst practice runs I’ve had in a while. I’ve really hit the wall when it comes to French. I can’t learn new things, can’t remember old things. This was what I’ve been dreading since I started learning.

I finished the day with some singing. It passed some time but I was far too drawn to moody songs. I really wish I could shake the feels.

I hope your day has been filled with all the things that make you smile. Big hugs for all those who are missing someone right now. *HUGS*

Tilly