Day 113

The day started just after 5.30 am. Hubby had to start work early and I wanted to get up to keep him company. Once he’d left for work I did a little singing. I’ve had the song ‘California Numb‘ by Cloves, stuck in my head. Mainly the line; ‘I don’t like my fate, or how I’m turning out. I am in over my head’. That has been on repeat in my head all day.

I got to my workout earlier hoping that it would distract me. I was slow and unfocused. I got through it but not a day I am proud of.

After that I was feeling too tired to focus and decided to head back to bed to try and sleep away the feels. Sleeping was so lovely.

I woke and got some housework out of the way. Then it was on to French. My mood was still rather flat and in some ways I just went into auto pilot and got a lot right. I didn’t bother with flirty words, I feel my flirt fuse has fizzled out.

Today’s drawing challenge topic; stars in the sky. This felt like a difficult draw using only grey pencil. I had no concept of how to draw a star either. I really can’t focus today.

All challenge drawings can be found here…
40 Day Drawing Challenge on Three Peas, One Pod

I hope my focus returns to me. This week is sure becoming a week that I’m not proud of. If I haven’t said it yet, UGH!

I hope your week is free from awkward moments and bad feels. May smiles and joy be abundant for you and your family.

Tilly

Day 90

Hubby was back to work today and life continued on as planned. I got my French lesson out of the way before hubby had even left. I started on a new group of ‘travel’ words. Even though a lot of words are very similar to English, I fear I don’t remember a single one.

Soon as hubby was on his way to work, I worked out. It was nice.

I then moved onto the creatives. Seeing I have been making a commitment to drawing daily, I thought it’d be a great time to start a drawing challenge. I saved the 40 Day Drawing Challenge on  Pinterest months ago. I had to draw a bird or birds. I haven’t had much luck with bird attempts in the past, so I decided to stick to drawing only one.

All challenge drawings can be found here…
40 Day Drawing Challenge on Three Peas, One Pod

Writing was a bit of a challenge today. I probably wrote about 5 minutes from the first 20 minutes of sitting here. I flipped between the two stories I’m working on and neither really felt right. I pushed on for an amount of time that I felt was comfortably 20 minutes of writing then decided to sing.

Singing was fun. I use the website SingSnap for all my karaoke fun. I have been refining my favourites list by just… singing the songs. If I don’t want to sing it, it’s off the list. I sang, I recorded and while listening to the playbacks, I worked on one of my stories. My singing was inspiring me to write. It was a weird feeling but I got more writing done. That made me feel good.

A new week of The Happy List has just started. I have given myself a slightly easier week by extending deadlines and removing a couple of repetitions. I still feel the creative is pretty heavy which will help keep me focused or distracted or both.


30 Day Blog Challenge – All my answers will be posted here.

Day 10: What is your guilty pleasure?

Alright, stop! Collaborate and listen.

Yes! If you know what I just did there, you already know why this is my guilty pleasure.

I cannot count the number of times that I have busted out the first verse of that song in reply to what someone has said. Which brings me to a very good point; nobody knows the second verse of that song. If you do, can we be best friends?


My goal for this week; just keep powering through. Good luck and good power to those needing a little boost this week.

Tilly

Day 85

I woke up just after 6 am and tried to get back to sleep but it didn’t work. I gave in to being awake and got up just after 6.30 am. It was still dark. I thought it might be a nice time to get some writing done but that didn’t happen. I did do an early French revision. I think my brain felt sharper and I got through each level much faster. I’ll start a new group of words next Tuesday.

After hubby had left for work I did my workout. I pushed hard and I have continued to feel it all day. I think I’m still clenching some of the muscles in question. Sleep will be a welcomed body relaxant.

Painting and Knitting WIP

I decided to draw first. I took inspiration from another photo from Akaroa. I drew it straight onto a canvas, so I can paint it. There is a lot of detail in the lighthouse and the boat which is quiet intimidating but I’ll attempt it over the next two days.

Then I started my writing practice and nothing happened. I tried to write the next paragraph and…. nothing happened. Uh oh! It has all been flowing so nicely for over a week and today the well was dry. I figured I’d start a second writing project but after three short paragraphs, I was also stumped. This ordeal was about 20 minutes long, so I called it a day.

I moved onto knitting. My new method for keeping track worked like a charm. I always knew what I was supposed to be knitting. Sadly, I made lots of weird little mistakes that mean it looks a bit odd in a few places. I am going to continue though. I’m hoping that by the time it’s stitched together and has a hand stuffed in it, it will look fine. We’ll just say it looks fine.

Lastly I spent some time singing before hubby got home. I wish I was a more consistent singer. I guess practice would help with that.

I feel like I didn’t do much with my day but I did all the things I needed to. I’ll give myself a break tomorrow because it’s my birthday.


30 Day Blog Challenge – All my answers will be posted here.

Day 5: What are your favourite comfort foods and why?

The first would have to be lasagne. This was the first dish I learned to cook. It’s taken me many years to come to my current recipe. The meat sauce is slow cooked for 4 hours and is packed full of veggies. Although you’d never notice because it still tastes so meaty.

Next would have to be a gnocchi topped chicken, mushroom and leek pie. The filling is so light and creamy and the gnocchi gives it the hearty feeling you’re looking for with comfort food.

The next is roasted chicken with a southern spice rub and potato salad with apple. The spice rub is smokey and spicy and warms your soul. The potato salad brings much need freshness and relief from the spice.

Now depending on the type of comfort I need, I could simply enjoy a handful of M&Ms… just because.


Did you know you look really good when you smile? I hope you’re having a magical week.

Tilly

Day 77

I woke up just as hubby was leaving for work. I haven’t been sleeping the best the last few nights, so it’s been much harder to get out of bed. I’m also missing out on an afternoon nap because I’m trying to fill my days with creative. I’m tired.

I spent the first hour of being awake with wifey on Discord. I can’t wait til she gets back here. Mornings are always easier when she is here. I still did my workout but it was a little later than normal and it was over before I even realised. I pushed through it about 4 minutes faster today.

Once I had e-tucked wifey into bed, I got about another day of happy list goals. One of my goals is to draw every day this week. This was a big ask, mainly because, I have no idea how to draw. I feel like I should be able to draw. I can see with my eyes, my brain can tell my hand what it sees, my hand should be able to do the job. That’s not really the case. I’m going to keep practising and stick to my 6 day drawing goal.

Today I tried drawing a vintage perfume bottle. I copied it from a photo I took at an Art Deco shop in Napier, New Zealand.

I also worked on a short story for 30 minutes. I still have no idea what the story is about but it seems to be unfolding nicely. It’s a bit dark and I’m not sure I’d ever show anyone but it’s writing practice.

Then, I spent a couple of hours singing. I’m trying to put together a list of songs to record to share. I’m going to make sure to get lots of practice in over the next couple of weeks before I try to record anything.

Finally I finished all the creative off with 30 minutes of French. I feel like I did better at French today. Words that were hard to remember yesterday, are easier today. Some, I still have no idea about.

There will be more of the same tomorrow.

Tilly

Day 58

It is official. I am the worst at waking up. If I’m not the worst, I’m at least in the top three. I yawned and stretched and sat huddled under my Hello Kitty robe and fluffy white blanket and couldn’t even conceive the idea that I had to get up and workout and shower.

The clock struck 8.30 am, hubby disappeared to work and I did what had to be done. The workout was hard though. I keep pushing myself as hard as I can because I really want to reap the benefits of my hard work. Today it just felt more draining. I could be coming down with a head cold, which would explain feeling extra drained. Not sure though.

Once that was all wrapped up, I dived back under robe and blanket and started singing. I’m really loving the sounds of women in the 80’s and gosh they’re fun to sing. My most sung songs would be;

  1. Heart – Barracuda
  2. Blondie – Heart of Glass
  3. Kate Bush – Babooshka
  4. Alannah Myles – Black Velvet
  5. Cyndi Lauper – True Colours
  6. Pink – The One That Got Away
  7. Fiest – 1, 2, 3, 4
  8. Marina & The Diamonds – (I am Not) A Robot
  9. Paloma Faith – Upside Down
  10. Kim Carnes – Bette Davis Eyes

Fun fact: The song Bette Davis Eyes by Kim Carnes was the #1 song the day I was born. Find out yours here!

I made lunch and decided to check on the celery. I think it’s the wrong time of year to try growing it. It looks healthy, just hasn’t grown any since it was planted in soil.

Then I went to find a locket I was going to take a photo of for this week’s photo challenge picture. I can’t find it!!! My world officially imploded. I have no idea where it is. It isn’t in the last few places I know I have kept it. I’m beyond freaking out.

When I realised it (and my wedding ring) are missing, I felt like I was having a heart attack. My chest ached, my arm tingled, my head pounded and my vision got blurry. I knew that my anxiety was in full throttle and I instantly started counting my fingers quickly. This was a way I used to keep myself calm if I had to be in public. Now I couldn’t count fast enough and it wasn’t helping. I went and laid down til it all passed, which took about 2 hours.

I wasn’t able to do anything since then. I sat, almost motionless, my brain trying to find the memory of what I did with them. They are both so important to me. The locket though, it’s irreplaceable and I’ll be devastated if I can’t find it.

Then Duolingo emailed reminding me that I can’t learn French if I don’t do the lessons. So I did about 30 minutes of that, just so I can say I did something with my day.

Hubby and I will try and find the locket in daylight over the weekend. Tomorrow I will try and stay distracted.

Here’s Day 25 of the writing challenge. If you’d like to see the full challenge details, click here. All 30 days will be posted here.

Day 25: Think of any word. Search it on Google images. Write something inspired by the 11th picture.

I searched for ‘flamingo’. I’ve had them in mind for a while and would love to try painting one. The 11th picture that I found, didn’t really inspire me at all but the one before it did. Some of the pinks were super vibrant and almost orange, other feathers floated in a soft pink. They’re majestic.

I then Googled a flamingo colour palette for anyone who wants to join me in creating pretty pink feathered goodness.

Tilly

Day 50

I wasn’t feeling good when I woke and I thought about not meditating, though I still did it. I figured even if I wasn’t as focused as I should be, I was still hearing what I needed to.

The morning was filled with normal morning things; shower, workout, dishes. Then I did a little singing. I recorded a few songs and each time I listened to the playback, I added a little to my short story. I’m not entirely sure what the story is even about yet, I figure it’ll all unfold as I put finger to keys. (Pen to paper sounds so much more poetic.)

“Writing is like driving at night in the fog. You can only see as far as your headlights, but you can make the whole trip that way.” – Unknown

I am trying not to wallow in depression and get about doing things that make me feel happier. I’m going to get a lamp setup tonight so I can paint or knit tomorrow. I need to distract myself from myself.

Here’s Day 17 of the writing challenge. If you’d like to see the full challenge details, click here. All 30 days will be posted here.

Day 17: Post about your zodiac sign and whether or not if fits you.

When I was younger, I was much more interested in my ‘sign’ and what it meant. I always thought that I was very much connected to being a Cancer.

As time has passed and memories have faded, I decided it was time to refresh my knowledge. In all fairness, I did just go with the first page I saw BUT it seemed so fitting, if there are other version, they must be wrong.

There are a number of things that I can identify with; being intuitive and being able to read people’s emotions, being passionate and loyal, being creative and resilient, tuned to nature and drawn to the water to name a few.

Check out the Cancer star sign here.

Tilly

Day 43

Two days of productive in a row. Go me!

Another day was started with meditation with hubby. I’m really glad that he’s so on board with it. He makes sure that we’re ready to go at 8 am. I know that it’s helping me to stay focused. I feel calmer and happier (most of the time.)

Then it was workout time. I keep pushing myself as hard as I can and I keep achieving the two workouts. I had a little mental speed bump half way through and considered only doing the one workout. Who would know, right? I would know and I really don’t want to let myself down. This is, by far, the longest I’ve consistently worked out. I’ll stick to the two workouts for the next two months, unless I don’t feel challenged enough. After that, I’m hoping for a much more exciting workout.

Once that was done I started thinking about other things I’d like to paint and drew a sketch of one scene. Then I spent some time browsing pictures for colour and texture ideas. The creative did not stop there.

I did some singing and while I was doing that, I added a couple more rows to the knitting practice I started the other day. It takes me at least two songs to get through a row.

After lunch I returned to the knitting and spent 5 hours doing it.
I definitely feel like I’m getting into the rhythm of this basic stitch. I need to learn how to get it off the needle.

I’m feeling a bit exhausted. Hopefully a good nights sleep will recharge me for a full day tomorrow.

Here’s Day 10 of the writing challenge. If you’d like to see the full challenge details, click here. All 30 days will be posted here.

Day 10: Write about something for which you feel strongly.

When talking to someone, always try and make them feel good. Listen, encourage, uplift, compliment. You never know what someone is going through, what they really feel or how long it’s been since somebody said something nice to them. You can be the difference.

Tilly

Day 21

The day started well. I did housework, I worked out, I wrote down a few short story ideas and I sang for hours. It was such an uplifting morning and then the afternoon kicked in.

It kinda started when I was working out. The whole time I just kept thinking that I was wasting my time. Thinking that the things I’m doing won’t make a difference. I finished my workout but that was where the slow decline into depression started.

By the late afternoon I felt like I was on the verge of hyperventilating for hours. I tried singing again to distract myself but the bad feels have kept coming and coming strong. By evening I was a puddle of tears and have been for the last hour. My pain levels are on the rise too. Not the best way to finish the day.

I’ve done more today than I have over the last couple and yet I feel so down on myself. Tomorrow is another day and I’ll try twice as hard to shake the bad feels.

Tilly