Day 27

It’s almost one month since I started this journey. In some ways I’m happy with the progress I’m making, in other ways, I’m disappointed at myself for not being more determined.

I feel like I’ve got a great morning routine and I get a lot done. I work out, get housework done and usually still manage to fit a little something creative in there too.

Once the afternoon comes, so does a very flat mood. I’m really not sure why I find it so hard to keep doing things. It is going to take a lot of effort to change these habits. Sometimes it feels like I don’t have the mental energy for it but I know I have to keep pushing.

Today, for example, I spent all afternoon wanting to vacuum but worried it would make my pain feel worse. That made me feel like I was letting myself down, letting hubby down, letting wifey down (even if she’s in the US) and then I just felt flat.

I think in the afternoons I should try adding some meditation and most definitely some arts and crafts, when the stuff finally gets here. Hopefully a creative release will help get the smiles flowing.

Trying again tomorrow.

Tilly

Inspiration from Ivan Ooze…

Day 26

Today has been a great day. The first thing I did was a workout. Really proud of myself for adding the extra day to my workout schedule. I imagine pretty soon I’ll be doing it 7 days a week, a couple of times a day. I’m determined to see results and just want to get there a little quicker than originally planned.

Hubby and I got some boxes unpacked, a little house stuff done and ate some amazing food. I can’t wait to start sharing some of my favourite recipes but it is a daunting task. Recipes are not the easiest thing to write. Although, I’m really looking forward to taking food pics. It’s always been something I’ve enjoyed, long before it was cool.

My craft supplies are on their way. It should only be a few days now and I can start some new art projects. I’ll try and pick some projects over the next couple of days. Learning how to read a knitting pattern could be helpful.

I’m still having some ‘motivation’ issues. The real problem is thinking I need some of it to get anything done. I read this great quote about motivation. My goal this week is to apply it.

Tilly

Day 23

I wasn’t feeling great today, so spent a good part of it in bed. I did get a bit of housework done, worked out and sang. Not my best day but not my worst.

I’m really looking forward to learning to knit and to do some painting. I think I’ve become a little obsessed with the idea and all other creative projects seem less enjoyable at this point.

I would still like to write some short stories but I’ve got a strange relationship with words and it’s going to take some time to get into the swing of it. I even find writing these blog posts hard. I guess I just start to wonder if anyone really wants to hear what I have to say. There are a lot of people, saying a lot of things, does my voice really need to be added to that?

Not dwelling on any negative feels, I’m going to stay focused on doing better each day.

Happy weekend!

Tilly

Day 22

Today was technically hard. By that I mean, I pushed some wrong buttons and broke some games on BlueStacks. It was a bit of a wake up call when I found myself getting increasingly depressed that I no longer had access to a game on google play. That is craziness. I’m an adult. This shouldn’t be something that can ruin my day. I am ashamed.

Good news though, I worked out! It’s been 9 workouts in a row (except for the weekend.) I know that it takes about 3 weeks to form a habit but I feel like this is already a habit. Everyday I seem to get it done a little earlier, not wanting to wait until my original planned time. I think I’m actually looking forward to working out twice a day but for now, slow and steady steps for long term success.

No news on the arts and craft supplies. The wait is real. Speaking of waiting, after 4 years, I have finally put all the pics from wifeys first trip onto my computer. I spent some time trying to edit a couple of pics, some food related some wifey related.

For a day with some roller coaster like emotions, I’m feeling pretty stable and happy about my journey. Maybe I’m making progress.

Keep your head up if your struggle is real.

Tilly

Day 21

The day started well. I did housework, I worked out, I wrote down a few short story ideas and I sang for hours. It was such an uplifting morning and then the afternoon kicked in.

It kinda started when I was working out. The whole time I just kept thinking that I was wasting my time. Thinking that the things I’m doing won’t make a difference. I finished my workout but that was where the slow decline into depression started.

By the late afternoon I felt like I was on the verge of hyperventilating for hours. I tried singing again to distract myself but the bad feels have kept coming and coming strong. By evening I was a puddle of tears and have been for the last hour. My pain levels are on the rise too. Not the best way to finish the day.

I’ve done more today than I have over the last couple and yet I feel so down on myself. Tomorrow is another day and I’ll try twice as hard to shake the bad feels.

Tilly

Day 20

Started the day with a workout. I think I actually missed it over the weekend. I might try and do 7 days this week. I’ll see how my body likes that idea by the end of the week.

I’ve been living with chronic pain in my arms and legs for over eight years. Sometimes it affects my shoulders, neck and back too. I know that working out will help strengthen my body. I’m looking forward to seeing the light at the end of the tunnel but the tunnel sure does feel long.

Although it’s not much, I have finally ordered some knitting supplies and painting supplies. Hopefully they’ll be here sometime this week and I can get underway. Creative is close and it’s exciting.

My brain keeps ticking over with all the creative projects I want to start. Tomorrow I’ll try working on some writing stuff. Make a list. I think I like lists a little too much. After living so unorganised for so long, it’s gotta be helpful, right?

Tilly

Day 19

The first thing I’ll say about this weekend is it has been disappointing on a get stuff done level. If I was to judge the weekend on a relaxing level, then I am most definitely a gold medallist.

I’m spending far too much time trying to plan things. I know I just need to dive in and get something done. It’s all about starting. Why is starting so hard?

I’m not going to let another week slip by and only get a little bit done. This will be my week.

For all those starting a new project this week, good luck. You got this! =)

Tilly

Day 16

Another day has passed and it didn’t go as planned. After a pretty good nights sleep I got up and worked out. Hubby made a yummy breakfast and we had most of the day still ahead of us. Then we did nothing.

Although I didn’t get any stuff done around the house, I have spent a huge part of the day looking at creative projects to get started on. I’m getting a little worried that they’re going to turn out to be expensive hobbies but I still have a lot of research to go.

I mostly looked at knitting patterns (which I don’t understand at all) and some painting supplies. Hopefully tomorrow I can narrow it down to two projects to start in the coming week.

Starting is the hardest.

Tilly

Day 15

I don’t even want to talk about today. I woke before the sun because hubby had to start work early. I felt really motivated and exercised early. Everything after that is a blur of disappointment.

The Easter long weekend is starting so that means it’s time to get some more of the big stuff done around the house. Packing, unpacking, organising, cleaning, all the fun stuff.

Oh, I did make a blog for all the house renovations, garden creation and creative projects but I haven’t worked on it at all or even made it live. It does exist though.

Baby steps.

Tilly

Day 1

I first thought of this life changing plan, 2 years ago. I was 4 years away from 40 and I knew it was the time to make some big lifestyle changes. I have talked myself in and out of this plan ever since. I’ve been hard on myself and hard to myself. 

So, it’s now 2 years later and I’m finally starting my journey. The goal is to make 40 life changes that will improve my life, before I hit 40. I will keep a daily diary of the journey.

Today started different to most. I slept in. Then, as with most days, I was feeling unmotivated. I didn’t do much and I even put off starting this blog. I have felt reluctant to start because I was afraid I would give up or fail. The only fail would have been not starting. 

There is so much to learn, so much to share and so much more to come.

Thanks for joining my journey. Forever starts today.

Tilly