30 Day Blog Challenge

The 30 Day Blog Challenge has lots of interesting questions that will be confronting and challenging to answer. Getting to know me a little better isn’t a bad thing for me or you.

Day 30: List your goals for the next 30 days

  • Be more active
  • Finish a knitting project
  • Watch more world movies
  • Read more
  • Write some recipes
  • Be more social
  • Paint and draw
  • Keep learning French
  • Get the house ready for wifey coming home

Day 29: List 10 people, living or dead, you would invite to dinner. Include the dinner menu.

I would invite…
Hubby, Wifey, Heston Blumenthal, Yotam Ottolenghi, Anthony Bourdain, Rhett McLaughlin, Link Neal, Paul Rudd, Eli Roth, Romain Duris .

The menu would be…
I love creating menus and I was actually excited about this part of the question until I decided that Heston would make a great dinner guest. The things that he creates are so wild and amazing that I feel like the things I’d come up with would be…not enough.

So, I would hope that Heston would prepare one of his wondrous feasts like the ‘seaside’ or a ‘garden’ or the tribute to ‘Wonka’.

Day 28: What is something/someone you miss?

The thing I miss the most is my mum. She passed away not long after my 21st birthday. I needed her then and I still need her now. It hurts too much to even think about today.

Day 27: Discuss a problem you have or had in the past.

When I was 19, I had a pretty bad gambling problem.

For as long as I could remember my parents loved to go to the local bowling club to play the poker machines. Soon as I turned 18, I could finally join them. Mum would give me money to play them. Sometimes I’d win, most times I’d lose. I loved the thrill of winning and was always hoping for the big one.

At 19, I started a new job and would get paid weekly. As soon as I was paid, I would fill the car up with petrol, so I could get to work for the week, then go to the closest club to play poker machines. Sometimes I would win but for the most part, I would go home a few hours later, with no money left for the week.

For years later, any time I had money, or sometimes when I didn’t, I would go and try to win. The main reason I stopped going was because of my agoraphobia.

Now that I’ve gotten older and now I own a house (that needs a lot of work) I feel like even if I could go out, that’s not what I’d want to do with my money. Although that big win is still alluring. I think it’s still a problem.

Day 26: If you had 1 million dollars to spend, how would you spend it?

I’d take it to a casino and put it all on black!

Well, probably not. The only things I’m really interested in, that are big money items, would be to buy a house somewhere rural with room for veggie gardens, chickens and goats. I imagine that would take up a good portion of the money, getting that all set up. Goat pyjamas would have to be expensive.

Then a cruise. A world cruise or a European river cruise… or both.

Then with whatever is left over, I’d put it all on black.

Day 25: Discuss someone who fascinates you and why?

I found it really difficult to pinpoint one person. I think humans in general are fascinating. There are so many creative, artistic, outgoing, intelligent, proud, damaged, deranged and dysfunctional people out there, each with a unique story. So I think that everyone is fascinating, I just haven’t heard their story.

Day 24: What is your favourite movie and why?

I’ve never really been a fan of superheroes and I have most definitely never found one that I’d want to be but at the moment I’m really loving Deadpool 2. It’s a sublime mix of action and comedy. I just love the rawness of Deadpool as a character. He’s edgy, he’s funny and his superhero power is kinda cool. His power isn’t the one I want though.

If I could be any superhero I would be Domino. Give me the luck, all the luck! A lot of the time I feel I am the curse. Not that I am cursed, that I AM the curse. So feeling the complete opposite of that would be incredible.

Day 23: Post five pictures of celebrities you find attractive

Left to Right…
Natalie Portman, Eva Morey, Felicity Jones, Pearl Liaison, Eva Green

Day 22: How have you changed over the past few years?

The most changes I’ve made have been in the last 3 months. I’m now trying to make my physical and mental health better, I’m trying to learn new skills and grow as a person, and most importantly I’m trying to be happier.

I’ve been flirting with the idea of being happier for a few years by making small life changes; like keeping the house tidier, not having as much sugar, eating vegetarian meals, trying to be a more calm person who doesn’t yell.

Another change is that I’m really craving being around people. For many years I’ve hidden away and not had conversation and interactions with people and I was okay with that. At least for the last year I’ve wanted to have friends again.

Day 21: What is one of your favourite TV shows and why?

Torchwood. I have watched this series more times than I can count. The lead character, Captain Jack Harkness, is divine. He’s the perfect mix of masculine and tenderness. People die in his arms and it looks like the most peaceful and reassuring thing that could ever happen. The show has got the right balance of aliens, action and bisexual men. It’s easy to get caught up in this fantasy.

Day 20: How important do you think education is?

I think education if very important. Being educated gives you opportunities to thrive and succeed. It gives you hope. I regret leaving school at the end of year 10. I think my life would be very different if I had of been able to finish school and go to University.

Day 19: What is your biggest regret in life?

My biggest regret is that I didn’t make the changes I’m making now much earlier in my life. In the time that hubby and I have been together, I could have finished a 2 year journey, seven times. It also would have been nice to make my parents proud. Now they’re gone, that’s something that is never going to happen.

Day 18: What book could you read over and over again?

I hate to say this but there isn’t a book like that in my world. I almost feel ashamed to say (because I want to be a writer) that I don’t really get into reading books anymore. Whenever I read my mind tends to drifts off and I barely take in what I’m reading or just end up skipping over parts.

When I was younger I loved reading scary stories written for teenagers and Baby Sitters Club books. I still have both in my collection. I also enjoyed a couple of Stephen King books and some of Edgar Allen Poe’s works.

I know that it’s important for me to read more and I have started by reading more blog posts from the people I follow. There have been lots of amazing, uplifting, encouraging and relatable stories. I’m always thankful for taking the time to read them.

Day 17: List your highs and lows of this past year

The highs of the last year was definitely wifey being here for Christmas, New Year and Valentines Day. Also starting my life changing journey is a bit of a high, especially because I haven’t given up. The other thing is hubby getting on board with the Happy List and meditating. It’s nice to see him set goals and achieve.

Nothing has really gone badly in the past year (thankfully!) so there aren’t many lows to note. You wouldn’t know that by the way I am though. Living with depression and suicidal thoughts constantly, without medication or help, for well over 20 years is a big struggle. It’s a long time low that I’m working on changing.

Day 16: What are your views on mainstream music

When I was younger I was heavily into rock and grunge, with a splash of pop. The pop music would have been the mainstream music of the time.

Now my music tastes have chilled a lot and I’m loving indie. In saying that, if I like a song, I like a song. There are songs that I adore that ride long and proud on the music charts and would be considered mainstream.

Overall, mainstream music really isn’t my thing but what makes it mainstream is that LOTS of people do enjoy it. If it puts a smile in your heart then I’m glad someone is making it.

Day 15: Write 15 interesting facts about yourself

  1. I taught myself to touch type by listening to music and typing the lyrics as the songs played.
  2. I started learning piano at age 4 and was taught to play by ear, instead of reading music. I eventually went on to learn how to read music. I prefer to play by ear now.
  3. In my early 20’s I loved doing long road trips in my 1983 Subaru touring wagon. I miss that car.
  4. All my life I’ve had the same dream about a big black crow trying to fly into the house to get me. It scared me as a child. It scared me as an adult.
  5. I was a radio announcer for a year and voiced a commercial that was played in the USA.
  6. The first instrument I bought for myself was a bass guitar. I still have it.
  7. I started primary school half way through the year. With my birthday in June, I was too young to start at the beginning of the year.
  8. I consider myself an empath. I can sense emotions and feel physical pain from the people around me.
  9. I have some sort of dream psychosis where I hallucinate spiders and people as I’m waking up. The worst was when I opened my eyes to see a man kneeling beside the bed. I screamed and it vanished.
  10. I have had two opera singing lessons and was told I was a natural. I moved and never took another singing lesson again.
  11. When I was 12, I had a bone tumour removed from my arm. When the bone grew back it pinched the muscle and it makes my arm sore sometimes.
  12. At a local Folk Festival, I played guitar and sang with an actor that was in Priscilla, Queen of the Desert, as we sat by a fire at the back of a pub.
  13. I wrote a book when I was 16. Computers were new and when I was moving the files, trying to get organised, I managed to lose three crucial chapters. I thought it was a sign I wasn’t supposed to write the story and deleted the whole thing.
  14. I will only sing at ‘karaoke’ on cruise ships. I’m sure it has something to do with the overpriced cocktails.
  15. I’ve been ‘agoraphobic’ for about 8 years and have only left the house when I really have to. It’s been over a year now since I’ve gone out.

Day 14: What is your earliest memory?

It was around 6.30 am and I thought… ‘Why am I awake at 6.30 am.’

For real though, I find this question difficult to answer because I don’t remember a lot from when I was young. I’ve also had short term memory problems since my mum passed away when I was 21, so I feel like I’m in a constant fog of confusion and uncertainty.

I find it hard to tell if it’s a memory of a situation I’ve been in, if it’s a memory of a photo or if it’s something I’ve completely made up.

Tomorrow is a rest day. My workout body is looking forward to it. My workout brain is not. I don’t want to say it but I think I enjoy working out. What a strange world I now live in.

Day 13: Where would you like to visit/live one day?

I would like to live somewhere in the countryside in France, on a farm, with goats in pyjamas. I’d settle for Akaroa, New Zealand. It’s got a French vibe, just like me. I’d also like to live somewhere with snow.

Day 12: Bullet point your whole day

  • Woke up
  • Worked out
  • Did 30 minutes of French
  • Drew a family of owls
  • Edited the story I’ve been writing
  • Knit for 2 hours
  • Did the dishes
  • Played mobile games
  • Ate dinner
  • Finished this post

Day 11: Put your ipod on shuffle. Write down the first 10 songs.

  1. Marilyn Manson – Deep Six
  2. Twenty One Pilots – Tear In My Heart
  3. Alpine – Villages
  4. Simple Day – One That I Want (Grease Cover)
  5. Steppenwolf – Magic Carpet Ride
  6. Meatloaf – Paradise by the Dashboard Light
  7. Ash Grunwald – Mind Plays Tricks
  8. Muse – Dead Inside
  9. Episodes – She
  10. Custard – Girls Like That

Day 10: What is your guilty pleasure?

Alright, stop! Collaborate and listen.

Yes! If you know what I just did there, you already know why this is my guilty pleasure.

I cannot count the number of times that I have busted out the first verse of that song in reply to what someone has said. Which brings me to a very good point; nobody knows the second verse of that song. If you do, can we be best friends?

Day 9: If you could have any job in the world, what would it be?

If there was a job where I could travel on every cruise ship, all expenses paid, and then rate everything about the trip, that’d be my ideal job. I would take the worst pair of ‘sea legs’ the world has even seen, to spend month after month testing every river and ocean cruise line. I’m pretty sure that job doesn’t exist.

So on the reality spectrum, just let me do something creative or with food or something creative with food.

Day 8: Discuss a moment when you felt most satisfied with your life.

I can honestly say I have never been satisfied with my life. Good things have happened to me. I had a magical wedding. The day I met wifey in person after 4 years was amazing. I’ve had money. I’ve travelled in luxury on a cruise ship. Underneath all those moment, I have never been satisfied with myself, which means I look back and think of how things could have been different.

I hope that sometime in the next couple of years I will truly understand what it means to be satisfied with your life.

Day 7: What were your favourite childhood toys?

Barbie is at the top of that list. I would get at least two barbies for my birthday and Christmas. I also had an assortment of accessories like mansion, caravan, camp set, TV studio, shops and pool. I still have the collection and often think of getting them out to play.

I also loved Lego. My favourite set was a pirate set with pirate, boat, island, shark, treasure chest and gold coins. I remember playing with them one time and the shark had managed to get to the treasure chest and ate all the gold coins. (I stuffed the gold coins in it’s mouth.) The shark never returned the coins.

Lastly, I had a Cabbage Patch Kid doll called Tom. He had curly brown hair and I adored him, When I was a teenager I donated him to charity. I have always regretted doing that.

Day 6: What is your zodiac sign and does it fit your personality?

It most certainly does and what a great question for my birthday. I have already answered about being the ‘Cancer’ sign in my last writing challenge, so be ready to be copy and pasted, hard.

‘There are a number of things that I can identify with; being intuitive and being able to read people’s emotions, being passionate and loyal, being creative and resilient, tuned to nature and drawn to the water to name a few. ‘

Day 5: What are your favourite comfort foods and why?

The first would have to be lasagne. This was the first dish I learned to cook. It’s taken me many years to come to my current recipe. The meat sauce is slow cooked for 4 hours and is packed full of veggies. Although you’d never notice because it still tastes so meaty.

Next would have to be a gnocchi topped chicken, mushroom and leek pie. The filling is so light and creamy and the gnocchi gives it the hearty feeling you’re looking for with comfort food.

The next is roasted chicken with a southern spice rub and potato salad with apple. The spice rub is smokey and spicy and warms your soul. The potato salad brings much need freshness and relief from the spice.

Now depending on the type of comfort I need, I could simply enjoy a handful of M&Ms… just because.

Day 4: Discuss your views on religion?

I believe there is a God. I think each religion has part of the story but no one has put that story together yet, which is okay, because God loves us anyway.

I think that earth is both ‘heaven’ and ‘hell’. How you live your life will determine how you spend your next life. If you live a good and helpful life, you will be born into a ‘heaven’ situation. If you live a bad life, you come back into a ‘hell’ situation.

The spirit world exists and it’s just people waiting for their return to earth. Some will never make it back to earth. If they are good they’re angels. If they’re mischievous or troublemakers, they’re demons.

I grew up a Catholic and spent a number of years as a born-again Christian, but neither gave me the same peace as the above thought has. I know that when the time comes, my God will welcome me home.

Day 3: What are you top five pet peeves?

  1. People being bullies. *
  2. When someone asks a question but doesn’t wait for you to answer. *
  3. Cats wandering the neighbourhood. *
  4. Door knockers selling goods, services or religion.
  5. All commercials. I get your point. I get you have to do the thing in under 30 seconds but they’re always so weird, awkward, unrealistic and intrusive.

* These answers are the same as answered in the 30 Day Writing Challenge.

Day 2: Where would you like to be in 10 years?

I want to be healthy and happy and surrounded by my family. I want my house to feel like a safe home that truly showcases my personality and creativity, with an overflowing veggie garden. I want to have developed all the skills that I’m currently learning. I would love to be able to take a trip to France and speak French. Mostly, I would like to inspire people to change, grow, be creative and be the best they can be.

Day 1: Discus your current relationship.
I have been with my husband for 15 years in October. We were married in 2006. We have had our ups and downs but it’s a very stable relationship and I couldn’t imagine my life without his love, care and support.

I met wifey around 7 years ago in a virtual world. From the day we met, I knew she was special. She fell head over heels for me instantly. I told her I was married but it would still be possible to have a relationship. We talked everyday online for over four years before her first trip to stay with us.

Being in a three way relationship hasn’t been easy for any of us. I don’t think any of us really knew what to expect or how to act and react. The one constant has been that we consider ourselves a family and we’re determined to make this relationship work. Wifey is planning her 5th trip down under. We’re both looking forward to her being home.

Every trip we feel more like a family and it’s an incredible feeling. I feel truly blessed that I am loved by two amazing people and I have the chance to make two amazing people feel loved.