Day 400 – Day 412

Day 400 – 7 May 2020 to Day 411 – 18 May 2020

Day 400 came with a truckload of depression and I gave up.

Firstly, I have really been struggling with my depression for weeks leading up to Day 400. One of the main reasons was losing a friend. I’m not sure why things changed between us but one day he just stopped caring. This was the first friend I’d had in over 10 years. I had shared more with him than I had anyone else (outside of hubby and wifey.) This situation really hurt my self confidence. It’s made me doubt a lot of things about myself and about the way people feel about me. (Poor hubby and wifey are now suffering through all my insecurities.)

Secondly, I have been pretty hard on myself during this journey. While I have learned, grown and seen changes in myself I know there are a lot of things that I haven’t done. I know there are a lot of things I haven’t attempted doing and I know that I’m running out of time. So yeah, I got really down as Day 400 wagged its finger in my face.

So what did I do during those 11 days? I spent a couple of days ignoring things. Then I spent a handful of days in bed with a head cold. There was about five days where my computer was missing because it had to go visit the computer doctor. I was defeated. I was sulky. I was not living my best life. The only thing that I have kept up with is writing a meal plan. I am loving keto recipes (low carb recipes.)

I’m not going to beat myself up for all the things I didn’t do during this time. That time is gone and it’s time to focus on the next step. I really want to embrace taking life one day at a time.


Day 412 – 19 May 2020

It’s the first day of the work week for hubby, so today was ‘GO’ day for me. I got to bed just before midnight last night, listened to a healing meditation and got a fairly decent sleep. It was enough to help me undertake a normal day. I’ve got some hard work ahead of me to get a normal routine back on track. So far, we’re in May and I’ve spent all year struggling. Ugh.

First thing on the agenda was French. I refreshed some old lessons and realised the last two sets of lessons are fairly unknown to my brain, so I’ll just focus on French only until I feel back on track. It was a good practice, even if I didn’t remember as much as I would have liked.

Next I did some singing practice. Now that wifey and I are back in Secondlife, I’m pondering doing some live singing performances. When I was about 18 I did a few different live performances with a couple of different bands, so this is not uncommon ground. I’ve also had a love affair with karaoke on Cruise Ships. Plus, I sang with the Piano Bar singer on our first cruise, a number of times. That is definitely a highlight of my singing career. So anyway, long story short, I’m going to put a lot more effort into practice now.

While I was listening to the playbacks of my recordings, I inked five Puddles I had drawn over the last couple of weeks. I wish I had of done more work on that but it is what it is. I’ll get caught up with it eventually.

In today’s Adventures of Arthur Puddles we find him watching some bats outside the living room window. It’s International Bat Appreciation Day. Arthur does appreciate them!

In today’s Adventures of Arthur Puddles we find him at home (because of the Covid 19 lockdown.) Douglas dog decided to go for a quick walk around town. We find him visiting the Record Store for National Record Store Day. The store was closed though (because of the Covid 19 lockdown.)

In today’s Adventures of Arthur Puddles we find him playing with Douglas dog in the backyard to celebrate Canine Fitness Month. Arthur bought Douglas some fun obstacle course items and a frisbee. Douglas had a lot of fun and a lot of exercise.

In today’s Adventures of Arthur Puddles we find him and Douglas dog on a video chat with Rosie. It’s National Look Alike Day and they both wanted to look like Rosie, so they’re all wearing matching hair bows. Rosie misses spending time with them.

In today’s Adventures of Arthur Puddles we find him pretending to work in a library for National Library Workers Day. He really wanted to go to the local library but they’re closed at the moment. Douglas dog is still exhausted from the workout a couple of days ago.

I felt like I was on the go all day but it was just a normal day. I Frenched. I art-ed. I house-worked. I did more today than I have been doing, so I will call today a win.

It’s the start of the week, so that means a new Happy List. I’m still determined to actually do everything on the last one. So let’s try again!!

  1. Do more than 7 Puddles this week
  2. Start knitting a beanie
  3. Finish knitting hubbys gloves
  4. Nap/rest at least 2 hours every day
  5. Workout 2 times
  6. Meditate 3 times
  7. Watercolour paint
  8. Find some new, low carb recipes
  9. Use ‘Jazzas Arty Games’
  10. Smile for 10 minutes, for no reason, 5 days

I hope today’s post finds you in good health and good spirits. If no one has asked you lately; How are you going? Are you coping with the Covid crisis okay? Take care of yourself. Stay safe, stay creative and stay at home (until you’re told you can go out!)

Tilly

Published by

Tilly Collins

I'm on a life changing journey to 40. There will be ups, there will be downs. I'm like a roller coaster but with more agoraphobia.

4 thoughts on “Day 400 – Day 412”

  1. This hasn’t really affected me a ton, I’m an introvert and perfectly happy being by myself most of the time :). When I feel a bit depressed, which I assume most people go through that at some point in their lives (tho I know the clinically depressed are predisposed to it much more often) I find choir pieces of music I can sing to, or up beat classical pieces of music or show songs from Musicals are peaceful to listen to and can be uplifting. Hope you are feeling better soon, there really is a lot of stress out there right now.

    Like

  2. Sorry to hear you have been struggling, it’s always good to hear what you’ve been doing! A friend of mine recently told me about a signing app called Voisey, it looks like fun but I really don’t like my voice, you should try it!

    Like

  3. Don’t beat yourself up- people are flaky and weird- and frankly I’m generally happier when I’m not around them 😊 hence why the lockdown hasn’t really bothered me that much- and at this point I think I’ve moved on to the acceptance phase of dealing with la peste itself. Anyway- hang in there- and low carb is definitely the way 2 go- since I cut back I’ve found I don’t have these swings in mood- I can concentrate better- and I’m not constantly hungry.

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s