Day 336

I got to bed before midnight last night. Woo hoo!! See what I mean about the fact I do the things I should…when there is a list. I added an earlier bedtime to my Happy List and two nights in a row, I’ve had an earlier night. If I was a Sim, my happiness would have increased by at least 2 points. When I went to bed I thought I’d try listening to an 8 hour meditation. It seems after about 45 minutes I turned it off. Earbuds all night was not a good plan.

I woke around 7 am. It was cool and dark which made the morning a little harder to start. Apparently I can’t have it too hot and bright or too cold and dark. I’m like the Goldilocks of mornings. It all has to be just right for me to get into the day. I got through Norwegian before hubby buzzed off to work.

Once hubby had started his day, I officially started mine with a workout. For my Youtube video sidekick I decided to watch some TED talks on child abuse/trauma and how it affects you.

When I was growing up someone said to me that growing up with domestic violence and abuse was like living in a war zone. I never really understood why it would be comparable but after watching; The effect of trauma on the brain and how it affects behaviours by John Rigg, it made more sense. Growing up with abuse leaves you in a constant state of being on alert as people are when they are deployed for war. You’re always waiting for something to happen. My brains response to the abuse I went through is very similar to those that have been to war.

I then made the silly mistake of reading comments except today, it wasn’t so silly. Some of the comments raised some things I didn’t even know were a thing. Like, I’d heard of the ‘Flight or Fight’ response (which John Rigg spoke about in his talk) but apparently there are two other ‘F’ related responses. They are ‘Freeze and Fawn.’ I searched Google to find out the meanings.

  • To fight is to confront the threat aggressively.
  • Flight means you run from the danger.
  • When you freeze, you find yourself unable to move or act against the threat.
  • You may find yourself hiding from the danger. Fawn is the response of complying with the attacker to save yourself.

This really got me confused. When I was watching the Ted talk I could identify with what he was saying about ‘fight or flight’ responses in relation to my own childhood abuse. When I read the meaning of the other two my first thought was they are both ‘flight’ responses. They are just different ways of removing yourself from the situation. Then I pondered more over both meanings and yes, they are separate and I can identify with both responses.

I got to chatting to wifey about it and she did some quick Google searches to find out more about it too. This was the first time she’d heard of the ‘freeze and fawn’ response. She linked me to; Fight Flight Freeze: How To Recognise It And What To Do When It Happens. It was interesting to read that I have physical reactions from each of the categories, simultaneously. My body can’t even work out what is the best response and goes for all of them.

So where to from here? This is a topic I need to learn more about. Thankfully I have the ability to hear the opinions of hundreds of healthcare professionals from around the world. I can see a lot of TED talks in my future. Of course I’ll take each with a grain of salt but I figure it’s a great place to start.

After some great conversation with wifey, I stared some art-ing. For my watercolour I was going to follow a video on Youtube but I didn’t want to waste more time looking for something. I had a search on Unsplash still open with photos of Poland, so I took inspiration from the first one that caught my eye; a couple sitting by a body of water. The one thing that I took away from this practice was that I actually enjoyed painting the people.

Today’s Puddles is a special one. When I first started drawing the penguin character, long before I had even come up with a concept for the Arthur Puddles blog, my good friend ‘The Pally’ was inspired by my art-ing and drew a penguin character of his own. I thought it was fantastic.

When I started putting together the holiday list for the Puddles cartoon, there was a day that I thought would be perfect to use ‘The Pally’s’ penguin sketch. Today is the day. I’m really happy with how this turned out. I drew Arthur digitally over the other penguin. The background was drawn with an ink pen and coloured digitally (as all the Puddles cartoons are now made.)

In today’s Adventures of Arthur Puddles we find him giving Private Penguin a big hug for Hug a G.I day. Douglas dog had been practising how to salute all week. They had a great day at the army base.

The art-ing took up almost the whole day. I finished the day with some light housework. It was a pretty good day.

I hope your day has been filled with all the things that make you smile.


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Tilly Collins

I'm on a life changing journey to 40. There will be ups, there will be downs. I'm like a roller coaster but with more agoraphobia.

4 thoughts on “Day 336”

    1. Thanks so much. ^^ I really enjoyed painting the scene. Just trying to go with the flow!!

      The ‘fawn’ response seems pretty new. I think it’s a good addition. Happy researching. =)


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