Day 254

Today started just before 6 am. Who needs sleep anyway? While this wasn’t an ideal start to the day, I was determined to stay focused anyway. That all fell apart just after hubby left for work.

Homer sat at the window looking slightly agitated. I knew that meant someone was out there. I went to check what was going on and there was a person taking things from our recycling bin. My first thought was they were going to take the bin (it wouldn’t surprise me if that happened, seeing this person had just watched hubby driving away.) I banged on the window and gave him the ‘what the?!?’ hands. This stranger indicated he was just stealing trash like it’s no big deal. IT WAS A BIG DEAL.

I then spent the next hour trembling with a mix of fear and anger. I haven’t left the house (for years) because I’m scared of people. I just want to have a place I can feel safe and stuff like that doesn’t make me feel safe. It makes me feel vulnerable and weak. So while this person went about their day (stealing trash), I got to sit around feeling terrible AND today hubby had his work Xmas party, so I had to be home alone well into the night.

Once I’d finally calmed down enough, I worked out. It was painful. I’m not sure if it was physically painful or mentally painful. It was at that point I knew the day was going to be a wasted day. I decided to do one art and then just try and… chill!

I went to Art for Kids Hub to try and find some light-hearted art. I chose “How to Draw a Funny Meatball Sub.”

The only other productive thing I did was French. I found it very hard to focus on what I was doing. Thankfully I had a lot of easier practice runs, so I still got most of them right.

I want to forget today has happened.

I hope your day was filled with smiles, friends, family and love. I’m sorry if you’re missing someone right now. I know how much it hurts to not be with the person you want. *HUGS*


Published by

Tilly Collins

I'm on a life changing journey to 40. There will be ups, there will be downs. I'm like a roller coaster but with more agoraphobia.

6 thoughts on “Day 254”

  1. One if the maaaannny things J’aime about my apartment is that it’s at the top of 3 long flights of narrow stairs well above the fray and out of mind of neer-do-wells at ground level.I never have to worry about people sneaking around outside my place. If I ever own a house it will have 2 b on stilts.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s