Day 229

In some ways I was thankful when Homer woke me up this morning. I was having a horrible dream. In the dream, wifey was here and life was going on as normal. I woke up (still in the dream), her things were gone, she was gone and I couldn’t contact her. I was heartbroken. Even though it was just a dream, her things are still in the closet and I spoke to her this morning, my heart has just ached all day. The dream was too real and I miss her too much.

I’ve spent hours looking for inspiration for any art medium. It’s been about a week since I’ve used watercolour and I really want to do something but the things that catch my eye are either too hard or far too simple. I have talked myself out of a number of things that probably would have been rather enjoyable to create. I have a number of portraits I’d like to do but they are very time consuming and I didn’t want hubby watching my terrible attempts. I feel self conscious and for no good reason.

My art learning journey has been pretty haphazard. At first it felt like an okay place to start, dabbling in little bits of lots of things. Just pretending to know what to do with each new medium and trying to create art. That’s the thing though, I don’t know how to use any of it and that is making me feel anxious about doing it. I know it seems silly seeing I have been doing it for a few months now but this thought is a crushing weight on my brain today.

Once rational brain decided to kick back into gear, I worked out the meal plan for the week. Every meal is new to us. All the recipes are from;

Shopping / Fresh Pasta + Sauce : Tuesday
Indian Peanutty Noodles : Wednesday
Spicy Braised Chicken Lettuce Wraps : Thursday
Sheet-Pan Crispy Rice with Bacon and Broccoli : Friday
Cauliflower Pizza Bake : Saturday
Fully Loaded Baked Potatoes + Spinach Salad : Sunday
One-Skillet Chicken with Tomato and Turmeric Rice : Monday

I got my French practice done and a new week is about to begin. I’ll set new goals, I’ll learn new things and I will shake off the very silly inner negative commentary from today.

Good luck if you’re starting a new project, big hugs if you’re struggling and most of all I hope you all have a wonderfully inspired, sunshine filled, satisfying week.


Published by

Tilly Collins

I'm on a life changing journey to 40. There will be ups, there will be downs. I'm like a roller coaster but with more agoraphobia.

4 thoughts on “Day 229”

  1. There is no such thing as right or wrong in art, that is the beauty of it! You are free to do whatever you feel, there’s no such thing as a mistake! Have you ever watched Bob Ross videos? I love his attitude, and you might have fun trying his painting techniques!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for your wise words. It’s good to be reminded that there is no right or wrong with art. ^^ I have watched some Bob Ross videos (he’s so calming) and I think you’re right. I will have to try his techniques. Take care. =)


  2. Sometimes it happens to me too. What I do is just take a break, leave the drawing project and not think about it at all. When I’m back, I feel refreshed and new ideas, spirit, just come to me. Everyone’s different though. But one thing that I never do : give up.

    So, don’t feel guilty when you feel not in to drawing some moments. Don’t force yourself.

    Just take a break, just don’t give up. Just like marathon,at some point you have to take a break to recharge, but don’t give up till the finish line.

    Hope it can help. 🤗

    Liked by 1 person

    1. This is very wonderful advice. Thank you for taking the time to share your ideas with me. I know I put a lot of pressure on myself to get things done, when sometimes it’s just as important to take a break. Thaaaaank you!!!


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