Oh Day 217, you are my least favourite of all the days. I knew this morning would be hard and it was. My reaction in the hours after wifey left, was not really what I had expected.
Last night we cried a lot and fell asleep exhausted around 11 pm. I woke at 1.30 am worried that we’d missed the alarm. I went back to sleep until the alarm did go off. I cried some more. We sipped coffee together for the last time on this trip and wifey went about getting ready to leave. I cried.
No matter how hard I tried to keep myself together, tears would continue to bounce down my cheeks. Before I knew it 5.30 am was upon us and hubby and wifey were ready to head to the airport. I held her as long as I could and then they were gone. I cried. In fact, I wailed and sobbed. As I walked through the house there were so many of wifey’s thing scattered about that it almost felt like she was still here.
I sat down on the sofa and decided to sing. One thing I learned when I was working as a radio announcer is; if you smile while talking (or singing) then your voice will sound lighter and brighter. Singing meant I needed to plaster a smile on my face. There were smiles. There were tears.
I was inspired to draw another penguin cartoon. This little guy will be the star of his very own adventure cartoon in 2020. I promise there’ll be less tears for him in the future.

I wanted to continue the creative and started to pencil sketch a portrait of French actor, Romain Duris. It took about 30 minutes for the first rough sketch.

With all that under my belt it had hit 8.30 am. WORKOUT TIME! So, this was one habit I thought I had formed and neither hell nor high water would stop me. Then we got sick near the beginning of wifey’s trip and I didn’t work out for about 3 weeks. The next week or two I did minimal workouts until they had fizzled into nothingness. I have been disappointed at myself for not being more disciplined.
Anyway, I climbed back onto the workout horse (not an actual horse) and got through the first 15 minutes very quickly. I was tempted to stop. I wanted to justify a half workout as a way of ‘getting back into’ working out. Rubbish! I went the full 30 minutes and pushed harder than I have before.
Then I started a new set of ‘home’ French words and practised for about 30 minutes before heading off to the kitchen to get it all in order. Housework hasn’t really been a thing for the last few days.
By lunchtime I was tired and unmotivated. It was understandable though. I’d been awake since 3 am and had only got about 4 hours of interrupted sleep the night before. I spent the rest of the day in bed and woke up feeling just as exhausted.
I whipped up a meal plan for the week. Hubby will do a little shop on Friday to get us through to the next pay day, then it will be a weekly shop again.
Spicy bean & chilli fajitas (vegetarian) : Thursday
Shopping / Chicken skewers + Salad : Friday
World’s Best Veggie Burgers : Saturday
Corned Beef & Potato Salad : Sunday
Lasagne : Monday
Japanese Chicken Noodle Stir-fry : Tuesday
Shopping / Lasagne : Wednesday
So today I got a lot more done than I thought I would have and that feels good but at the same time, I feel crushed.
I hope your day has been creative, inspired and filled with things you enjoy.
Tilly
I’m proud of you Tilly you didn’t let grief overtake you, personally I love your little penguin sketches, I think that they are probably your inner feelings coming out just like my cat paintings do the same for me.
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Yes, I definitely created the little penguin because I was sad and wanted to somehow illustrate that. He’s such a great character, it’ll be nice to give him some fun experiences too. xD Thanks for the support. I hope you have a wonderful week.
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I look forward to more penguin sketches whatever your mood. Take care and keep smiling 💐
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Thanks again!! =)
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Hang in there- I find creative endeavors (like drawing penguins) and healthy distractions (like excercise) are the best treatment for grief.
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Sorry you’re sad, sending lots of Scottish hugs your way.
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Thanks so much. ^^ That put a smile on my face. You’re very kind. I hope you have a fantastic weekend.
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