Day 217

Oh Day 217, you are my least favourite of all the days. I knew this morning would be hard and it was. My reaction in the hours after wifey left, was not really what I had expected.

Last night we cried a lot and fell asleep exhausted around 11 pm. I woke at 1.30 am worried that we’d missed the alarm. I went back to sleep until the alarm did go off. I cried some more. We sipped coffee together for the last time on this trip and wifey went about getting ready to leave. I cried.

No matter how hard I tried to keep myself together, tears would continue to bounce down my cheeks. Before I knew it 5.30 am was upon us and hubby and wifey were ready to head to the airport. I held her as long as I could and then they were gone. I cried. In fact, I wailed and sobbed. As I walked through the house there were so many of wifey’s thing scattered about that it almost felt like she was still here.

I sat down on the sofa and decided to sing. One thing I learned when I was working as a radio announcer is; if you smile while talking (or singing) then your voice will sound lighter and brighter. Singing meant I needed to plaster a smile on my face. There were smiles. There were tears.

I was inspired to draw another penguin cartoon. This little guy will be the star of his very own adventure cartoon in 2020. I promise there’ll be less tears for him in the future.

Project Penguin coming 2020

I wanted to continue the creative and started to pencil sketch a portrait of French actor, Romain Duris. It took about 30 minutes for the first rough sketch.

WIP – Romain Duris

With all that under my belt it had hit 8.30 am. WORKOUT TIME! So, this was one habit I thought I had formed and neither hell nor high water would stop me. Then we got sick near the beginning of wifey’s trip and I didn’t work out for about 3 weeks. The next week or two I did minimal workouts until they had fizzled into nothingness. I have been disappointed at myself for not being more disciplined.

Anyway, I climbed back onto the workout horse (not an actual horse) and got through the first 15 minutes very quickly. I was tempted to stop. I wanted to justify a half workout as a way of ‘getting back into’ working out. Rubbish! I went the full 30 minutes and pushed harder than I have before.

Then I started a new set of ‘home’ French words and practised for about 30 minutes before heading off to the kitchen to get it all in order. Housework hasn’t really been a thing for the last few days.

By lunchtime I was tired and unmotivated. It was understandable though. I’d been awake since 3 am and had only got about 4 hours of interrupted sleep the night before. I spent the rest of the day in bed and woke up feeling just as exhausted.

I whipped up a meal plan for the week. Hubby will do a little shop on Friday to get us through to the next pay day, then it will be a weekly shop again.

Spicy bean & chilli fajitas (vegetarian) : Thursday
Shopping / Chicken skewers + Salad : Friday
World’s Best Veggie Burgers : Saturday
Corned Beef & Potato Salad : Sunday
Lasagne : Monday
Japanese Chicken Noodle Stir-fry : Tuesday
Shopping / Lasagne : Wednesday

So today I got a lot more done than I thought I would have and that feels good but at the same time, I feel crushed.

I hope your day has been creative, inspired and filled with things you enjoy.


Published by

Tilly Collins

I'm on a life changing journey to 40. There will be ups, there will be downs. I'm like a roller coaster but with more agoraphobia.

7 thoughts on “Day 217”

  1. I’m proud of you Tilly you didn’t let grief overtake you, personally I love your little penguin sketches, I think that they are probably your inner feelings coming out just like my cat paintings do the same for me.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes, I definitely created the little penguin because I was sad and wanted to somehow illustrate that. He’s such a great character, it’ll be nice to give him some fun experiences too. xD Thanks for the support. I hope you have a wonderful week.

      Liked by 2 people

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