The day started well. I did housework, I worked out, I wrote down a few short story ideas and I sang for hours. It was such an uplifting morning and then the afternoon kicked in.
It kinda started when I was working out. The whole time I just kept thinking that I was wasting my time. Thinking that the things I’m doing won’t make a difference. I finished my workout but that was where the slow decline into depression started.
By the late afternoon I felt like I was on the verge of hyperventilating for hours. I tried singing again to distract myself but the bad feels have kept coming and coming strong. By evening I was a puddle of tears and have been for the last hour. My pain levels are on the rise too. Not the best way to finish the day.
I’ve done more today than I have over the last couple and yet I feel so down on myself. Tomorrow is another day and I’ll try twice as hard to shake the bad feels.
Tilly
40 'fore Forty 