40 'fore Forty

Day 400 – Day 412

Day 400 – 7 May 2020 to Day 411 – 18 May 2020

Day 400 came with a truckload of depression and I gave up.

Firstly, I have really been struggling with my depression for weeks leading up to Day 400. One of the main reasons was losing a friend. I’m not sure why things changed between us but one day he just stopped caring. This was the first friend I’d had in over 10 years. I had shared more with him than I had anyone else (outside of hubby and wifey.) This situation really hurt my self confidence. It’s made me doubt a lot of things about myself and about the way people feel about me. (Poor hubby and wifey are now suffering through all my insecurities.)

Secondly, I have been pretty hard on myself during this journey. While I have learned, grown and seen changes in myself I know there are a lot of things that I haven’t done. I know there are a lot of things I haven’t attempted doing and I know that I’m running out of time. So yeah, I got really down as Day 400 wagged its finger in my face.

So what did I do during those 11 days? I spent a couple of days ignoring things. Then I spent a handful of days in bed with a head cold. There was about five days where my computer was missing because it had to go visit the computer doctor. I was defeated. I was sulky. I was not living my best life. The only thing that I have kept up with is writing a meal plan. I am loving keto recipes (low carb recipes.)

I’m not going to beat myself up for all the things I didn’t do during this time. That time is gone and it’s time to focus on the next step. I really want to embrace taking life one day at a time.

Day 412 – 19 May 2020

It’s the first day of the work week for hubby, so today was ‘GO’ day for me. I got to bed just before midnight last night, listened to a healing meditation and got a fairly decent sleep. It was enough to help me undertake a normal day. I’ve got some hard work ahead of me to get a normal routine back on track. So far, we’re in May and I’ve spent all year struggling. Ugh.

First thing on the agenda was French. I refreshed some old lessons and realised the last two sets of lessons are fairly unknown to my brain, so I’ll just focus on French only until I feel back on track. It was a good practice, even if I didn’t remember as much as I would have liked.

Next I did some singing practice. Now that wifey and I are back in Secondlife, I’m pondering doing some live singing performances. When I was about 18 I did a few different live performances with a couple of different bands, so this is not uncommon ground. I’ve also had a love affair with karaoke on Cruise Ships. Plus, I sang with the Piano Bar singer on our first cruise, a number of times. That is definitely a highlight of my singing career. So anyway, long story short, I’m going to put a lot more effort into practice now.

While I was listening to the playbacks of my recordings, I inked five Puddles I had drawn over the last couple of weeks. I wish I had of done more work on that but it is what it is. I’ll get caught up with it eventually.

In today’s Adventures of Arthur Puddles we find him watching some bats outside the living room window. It’s International Bat Appreciation Day. Arthur does appreciate them!

In today’s Adventures of Arthur Puddles we find him at home (because of the Covid 19 lockdown.) Douglas dog decided to go for a quick walk around town. We find him visiting the Record Store for National Record Store Day. The store was closed though (because of the Covid 19 lockdown.)

In today’s Adventures of Arthur Puddles we find him playing with Douglas dog in the backyard to celebrate Canine Fitness Month. Arthur bought Douglas some fun obstacle course items and a frisbee. Douglas had a lot of fun and a lot of exercise.

In today’s Adventures of Arthur Puddles we find him and Douglas dog on a video chat with Rosie. It’s National Look Alike Day and they both wanted to look like Rosie, so they’re all wearing matching hair bows. Rosie misses spending time with them.

In today’s Adventures of Arthur Puddles we find him pretending to work in a library for National Library Workers Day. He really wanted to go to the local library but they’re closed at the moment. Douglas dog is still exhausted from the workout a couple of days ago.

I felt like I was on the go all day but it was just a normal day. I Frenched. I art-ed. I house-worked. I did more today than I have been doing, so I will call today a win.

It’s the start of the week, so that means a new Happy List. I’m still determined to actually do everything on the last one. So let’s try again!!

Do more than 7 Puddles this week
Start knitting a beanie
Finish knitting hubbys gloves
Nap/rest at least 2 hours every day
Workout 2 times
Meditate 3 times
Watercolour paint
Find some new, low carb recipes
Use ‘Jazzas Arty Games’
Smile for 10 minutes, for no reason, 5 days

I hope today’s post finds you in good health and good spirits. If no one has asked you lately; How are you going? Are you coping with the Covid crisis okay? Take care of yourself. Stay safe, stay creative and stay at home (until you’re told you can go out!)

Tilly

Day 399

I went to sleep listening to; Deep Healing Meditation Guide. Five hours later it was morning and I was not ready. Homer made waking up much more enjoyable though. He’s always so happy when I wake up and he smothered me with snuggles.

First stop on the daily agenda was art-ing. Except I didn’t really get to art-ing until the afternoon. Still not doing great at multi-tasking but spending all this extra time with wifey is definitely putting a smile on my face.

After lunch I finished four Puddles. I didn’t get any extra art-ing done but I did spend a couple of hours sifting through keto recipes to put together the rest of the week’s meal plan.

Fri: Cabbage Noodle Tuna Casserole
Sat: Chicken Coconut Curry with Broccoli Rice
Sun: Cauliflower Pizza Bake
Mon / Tues: Keto Cheeseburger Casserole with Bacon
Breakfast: Keto Cauliflower Hash Browns
Dessert: Keto Carrot Cake

In today’s Adventures of Arthur Puddles we find him preparing a huge sandwich for National Make Lunch Count Day. Douglas wanted to play Scrabble for National Scrabble Day but he got distracted by lunch.

In today’s Adventures of Arthur Puddles we find him picking some fruit in the garden for National Gardening Day. Arthur also celebrated Look at the Sky Day but seemed to miss a visit from some friendly aliens.

In today’s Adventures of Arthur Puddles we find him and Douglas dog doing a photo shoot for National Banana Day. Arthur made a banana bikini, a banana palm leaf skirt and reclined on his yellow car. Rosie will love the photo!

In today’s Adventures of Arthur Puddles we find him with a brand new orchid plant for National Orchid Day. He thinks this is one of the prettiest flowers he has ever seen.

I finished the day with some housework. It wasn’t my most productive day but I got more done than I thought I would when I first woke up. Hopefully I can get a long nights sleep tonight.

I hope your day has been filled with creativity, happiness and a dash of relaxing. Stay safe and stay at home. Take care.

Tilly

Day 396 – Day 398

Day 396 – 3 May 2020

I didn’t get out of bed until about 11 am. It was another terrible night’s sleep. I spent a little time with wifey and then went back to bed in the afternoon. This is most definitely a feet-up type of weekend.

Sunday was missing something and I guess it always will be.

Day 397 – 4 May 2020

I woke up around 9 am and rolled out of bed. I didn’t really have plans for the day. Hubby had to go and do some yard work for someone he works with. I spent the morning with wifey and by the time she was off to bed, hubby was home. I continued the day of laziness… I mean blissful relaxation.

The highlight of the day was enjoying this week’s Keto dessert: Keto Cheesecake Stuffed Brownies. The photo below was taken by me. The recipe was not written by me.

Day 398 – 5 May 2020

I went to bed early last night and listened to a deep healing meditation guide. I’ve been using this for a few days. I actually had a decent sleep. There were a few iffy dreams but it has been one of the better sleeps I’ve had in a while. I bounced out of bed at 7 am and sketched my first Puddles not long after.

I thought I was on track for having an art-tastic day but it didn’t turn out that way. Wifey and I are trying to get our schedules to match up better so we can spend time together. If it works out, wifey should be online for most of my day, which is fantastic!! It also means I’m going to have to develop some pretty mean multi-tasking skills. Today, during that time, I was only able to ink the Puddles I’d drawn earlier. It’s a work in progress.

I’m not sure why but by the time I’d had lunch I was feeling pretty flat. Most of me wanted to spend the rest of the day in bed but the little part of me that didn’t forced me to do some more art-ing. I sketched four more Puddles and inked three of them. None of them have been coloured yet. Tomorrow will be a big day!!

I spent a little time trying to do some ‘short story’ type writing but after a handful of attempts and spending more time using the backspace button than any other, I gave up.

Hubby got home a little bit early so I ended the days activities and enjoyed his company.

As it’s the start of another week, it’s time to review how I did with last week’s Happy List and get a new one underway.

Things I Got Done..
1. I did 11 Puddles and my goal was 7.
2. I rested every afternoon for a few hours before hubby got home.
3. I meditated every night. Each guide is a minimum of 1 hour.
4. I watercoloured.
5. I found new low carb recipes and added them to the meal plan.
6. I used Jazza’s Arty Games’ once.
7. I smiled for 10 minutes, for no reason, daily.

Things I Didn’t Do..
1. I have two knitting projects I would like to get done and didn’t start on either of them. I’m really having a hard time getting back into knitting.
2. Workouts. I really enjoyed my daily workouts until I hurt my back. I just keep coming up with excuses why I’m not doing it now. I’m lacking discipline in a big way.

I thought that I had a much worse week, so I’m really glad I decided to do an update on how I went. I feel a bit more confident that I can get my list done. So let’s try for another week of the same Happy List.

Do more than 7 Puddles this week
Start knitting a beanie
Finish knitting one of hubbys gloves
Nap/rest at least 2 hours every day
Workout 2 times
Meditate 3 times
Watercolour paint
Find some new, low carb recipes
Use ‘Jazzas Arty Games’
Smile for 10 minutes, for no reason, 5 days

Week four of the gratefulness project; It Made Me Smile. This hasn’t been my best week at all. I haven’t really had a lot of smiles this week. I couldn’t think of a time I smiled on Tuesday or on Sunday. I need to pay more attention to the smiles on bad days.

4 May 2020: When I tasted this week’s keto dessert. It’s so decadent and luscious. It makes me smile when I just think about how yummy it was.

3 May 2020: [I don’t remember anything that made me smile today.]

2 May 2020: When I finished my watercolour painting. I was nervous I wouldn’t be able to paint anything good since it had been months since my last practice.

1 May 2020: When I was doing the dishes. The afternoon sun was sparkling through the window, the water was keeping my hands warm and I just enjoyed getting my kitchen clean.

30 April 2020: When I had to get a blanket in the middle of the day because I was cold. So long Summer, so long!!!

29 April 2020: When I did some art-ing that wasn’t Puddles related.

28 April 2020: [I don’t remember anything that made me smile today.]

I feel pretty okay with how the day turned out. I’m looking forward to getting more done tomorrow. I hope your day has filled you with smiles. Good luck if you’re starting a new project this week. I bet you’ll do great!! Stay creative, stay safe and stay at home.

Tilly

Day 395

I listened to a ‘letting go’ meditation last night and it took a while to drift off but I ended up having a rather nice six hour sleep. It was just what I needed to start the day or maybe it was the coffee that hubby made me before fluttering off to work.

I had a procrastination fuelled morning but snapped out of it and got to all of the art-ing. I WATERCOLOURED!!!!!! This is the first time in a couple of months so I picked the easiest video I could find (in under 3 minutes) on Youtube. Check out; Basic Hut for Beginners. I didn’t follow very closely. Overall I’m happy with it apart from a couple of wonky building lines.

Then I got three Puddles finished.

In today’s Adventures of Arthur Puddles we find him taking a selfie with some cardboard cutouts of farm animals. He made them to celebrate National Farm Animal Day.

In today’s Adventures of Arthur Puddles we find him dancing around the living room listening to a tape on his 8 Track Player for National 8 Track Player Day. He video chatted with Rosie while dancing. Douglas wanted no part in today’s events.

In today’s Adventures of Arthur Puddles we find him bringing Douglas dog a lovely basket of eggs on Easter Sunday. Happy Easter!!

Once I’d done the art-ing I got some housework done. It felt like a productive day. The weekend starts for hubby tomorrow so I’m not sure if I can maintain this level of productivity or if I’ll give into the weekend relaxing. Either way, I feel I’ve had a much better week than I have in a long time, so I’m happy.

Before I wrap up, I just want to share a Youtube video about Debunking Viral Covid-19 Videos.

I hope your day has been everything you wanted it to be. Make sure to smile at least once, even if you don’t feel like it. Smiling looks fantastic on you. Stay creative, stay safe and stay at home. Take care.

Tilly

Day 393 – Day 394

Day 393 – 30 April 2020

Today came and went quickly and there is nothing more to tell.

Day 394 – 1 May 2020

It was sooooo cold last night. So happy I can finally say that. I listened to a healing meditation as I drifted off. I had a solid sleep but it wasn’t long enough. Better is better though, so I can’t complain.

My day started about 3 minutes before hubby buzzed off to work. I pretty quickly got to Puddling after I finished a coffee, wrapped myself in a robe and dived under a cosy fluffy blanket. I drew, inked and coloured three Puddles today and then it was 4 pm. I finished the day with some French.

In today’s Adventures of Arthur Puddles we find him relaxing by the pool with a beer for National Beer Day. Douglas dog wanted one last swim before Winter arrived.

In today’s Adventures of Arthur Puddles we find him and Douglas dog dressed up as their favourite animal you might find at the zoo for National Zoo Lovers Day. With the lockdown in full swing, they weren’t able to go to the Zoo.

In today’s Adventures of Arthur Puddles we find him and Douglas dog decorating some yummy pink cupcakes for National Unicorn Day. They put on their magical unicorn horns and video called Rosie. They sure do miss spending time with Rosie.

I really want to make excuses for my lack of trying over the last two days but I’m just lacking discipline (again!). Can I do better? Yes. Will I do better tomorrow? I hope so. I mean, YES!

If your day hasn’t been the way you wanted, take a deep breath, roll up your sleeves and get prepared to tackle whatever it is tomorrow. You’re strong and you can achieve anything you set your mind to. Stay creative, stay safe and stay at home. Take care.

Tilly

PS: After I wrote the post I did housework until hubby got home. I feel a little bit better about my day. Go me!!

Day 392

I listened to a healing meditation as I drifted off last night. It was very relaxing. I got about 6 hours sleep which isn’t terrible. I really felt like starting art the second I woke up but instead I enjoyed a coffee and watched some short food videos on Youtube with hubby.

Once hubby had gone to work I started work on a meal plan for the rest of the week. I found some great keto recipes (at least they sound great) and I’ve planned to have one that we ate last week. It was just so delicious.

Thurs: Shop / Chicken Kiev + Salad
Fri: Chicken Coconut Curry with Broccoli Rice
Sat: Bacon Cheeseburger + Coleslaw
Sun: Keto Stuffed Cabbage
Mon / Tues: Keto Shepherd’s Pie

Before I started Puddling I decided to do some random art with prompts from ‘Jazza’s Arty Games.’ I found the environment challenges the most fun. I struggled with the ‘character’ challenges and most attempts found their way to the bin. I only set 10 minute timers for each drawing but they all took longer.

I started with the floating city. I didn’t write the prompt down and just had to guess at what it said when I’d finished drawing. I drew it in pencil and ended up lining it in ink to make it look a little bit more dynamic.

With the second one I wrote the entire prompt down and then drew it. I drew an ink outline, used fine liners to colour some of it and pencil to finish it off.

Then I decided to try a ‘copying’ challenge. I once again only set it for 10 minutes and this was no where near enough time. I got it roughly sketched then I ran out of time and the original picture disappeared. I wasn’t sure how to finish the bottom part of the body, so I didn’t worry about it and got to colouring. I used pencil.

I stopped the art-ing for lunch but quickly returned to it in the early afternoon. I got two Puddles completed today. I’m feeling the art!!!!

In today’s Adventures of Arthur Puddles we find him celebrating Read a Road Map Day. Because of the lockdown Arthur can’t go anywhere but he had a great time imagining he was out in his penguin-yellow car.

In today’s Adventures of Arthur Puddles we find him and Douglas dog having a pillow fight for International Pillow Fight Day. They had fun for hours and Douglas won more matches than you would think.

By the late afternoon I really wanted a nap but normal day things just kept happening. I feel so normal. I’m like a real human person today. I got a quick French and Norwegian lesson in and contemplated knitting. I’m close.

I hope you’ve had a fantastic day of smiles, brightness, creativity and relaxing. Keep your chin up and stay strong. This too shall pass. Stay safe and stay at home. Take care.

Tilly

Day 388 – Day 391

Day 388 – 25 April 2020

I got to sleep late. This has become a common thread again because I simply don’t want to sleep. I know I need the rest but the idea of being in bed, in the dark with my thoughts has been overwhelming. While I’m trying not to dwell on the events of the week I’m still missing someone that I just shouldn’t be anymore.

I tried to distract myself by making a return to the virtual world; Secondlife. This was where wifey and I met. I hadn’t played for about 2 years but I thought it would be something different and at the very least, I could play dress ups with my avatar. (It’s like I’m 8 years old again with one great barbie and 100s of outfits and dream houses!!)

I was a bit nervous about getting back in there because I’d left suddenly and without explanation. I knew I had let people down (or at least that’s how I felt) and I wasn’t sure anyone that I used to know would even want to talk to me again. On my second day of logging in I was greeted with a very excited message from a friend. It made my day. Not only did someone miss me but they were actually happy that I was back…two years later.

I have really needed the distraction but I know I should be using some of my angst fuel to be catching up on Puddles, getting a face full of different languages or to make happy little trees with my paint brush. Try, try and try again. That’s all I can do.

Day 389 – 26 April 2020

Another restless nights sleep meant I crawled out of bed around 11 am. I enjoyed that one night where I didn’t dream at all. It was another lazy day and by the end of it, I felt guilty. I tried to tell myself all day that I was really just relaxing but I’ve definitely been a bit of a procrastination monster lately.

The highlight of the day was eating a Pesto Grilled Chicken burger with cream cheese and baby spinach. Plus a side of appleslaw. This was something we came up with when we were out of cabbage. In place of cabbage, we use apple. It’s a delicious mix of apple, carrot, onion, grated cheese and coleslaw dressing.

In today’s Adventures of Arthur Puddles we find him in a fort with Douglas dog and they are reading some books by Dr Seuss for International Children’s Book Day.

Day 390 – 27 April 2020

It was the last day of the weekend and I soaked in every last part of it…while doing nothing else. It was an enjoyable day but I am now trying to mentally prepare for a new and a more productive week.

Last week I set a creative and self care heavy Happy List.
The things I got done…
– I did 7 Puddles
– I meditated more than 3 times
– I found some low carb recipes and we’ve already tried them
– Downloaded Jazza’s Arty Games
– Smiled for no reason

Things I didn’t do…
– Knitting
– Workout
– Watercolour Paint

I am repeating the Happy List this week.

Do more than 7 Puddles this week
Start knitting a beanie
Finish knitting one of hubby’s gloves
Nap/rest at least 2 hours every day
Workout 2 times
Meditate 3 times
Watercolour paint
Find some new, low carb recipes
Use ‘Jazzas Arty Games’ to make any type of art
Smile for 10 minutes, for no reason, 5 days

Three weeks into the gratefulness project; ‘It Made Me Smile’. I haven’t been a bundle of smiles this week. I’m looking forward to an easy week of smiles.

27 April 2020: When I heard there were only two new cases of Covid-19 in NSW overnight.

26 April 2020: When I reconnected with another friend from 2 years ago. He reminded me that being quirky is a good thing.

25 April 2020: When someone I hadn’t spoken to for 2 years was incredibly excited to chat with me again. It made me feel good that I had such a positive impact on someone.

24 April 2020: When I watched the #leftoverchallenge video that was created by the ‘You Suck at Cooking’ channel. I want a bag of wispy crusticles.

23 April 2020: When I deided to smile for no reason. I just didn’t muster up a smile in more conventional ways.

22 April 2020: When I read and replied to the comments left on my blog. It’s so nice to know that there are good, caring and kind people out there who are willing to help, encourage and support a complete stranger.

21 April 2020: Even though nothing in me wanted to smile and I was sure nothing could make me smile, wifey read Johnathan Livingston Seagull to me and I smiled.

In today’s Adventures of Arthur Puddles we find him and Douglas dog in the backyard looking for a rainbow on National Find a Rainbow Day. Douglas found a bone and Arthur found the rainbow he had left in the garden after St Patrick’s Day. They had fun in the sun.

Day 391 – 28 April 2020

It was another bad nights sleep. I know it’ll right itself eventually but this in between time is really hard on me. I listened to a hypnosis pain relief guide as I was falling asleep. It helped me relax through some pain I was having but after I woke up around 3 am, I put a meditation guide for better sleep on. I think that added up to about 5 hours of guides.

When morning came I didn’t want to get up. I flirted with the idea of more sleep but it was the start of the week and I wanted to start doing things. I worked on three Puddles. I sketched, I inked, I coloured. That took longer than I wanted.

In today’s Adventures of Arthur Puddles we find him sharing a wedge of cheese with the sweet little rat that lives in the walls because it’s World Rat Day. This is the first time Arthur has been so close to a rat. They’re friends now.

Once done with the Puddling, I got straight into French and Norwegian. The French practice was pretty good. I feel pretty confident if I was listening to someone speak French, I could pick up on what they’re saying (well at least with what I’ve learned so far) but without prompts, I would struggle to put a sentence together. I guess that’s the only problem with not having someone to have French conversations with. The same will happen with Norwegian, I’m sure. As long as I can understand movies from both countries at some point, I’ll call it a win.

I finished the day with some housework and I spent some time with wifey. I had planned on doing more art/crafting but time was not on my side.

I hope you are doing well. Stay creative, stay safe and stay inside. Take care.

Tilly