40 'fore Forty

Day 82

Today didn’t turn out at all as I’d planned. I didn’t have any concrete plans but it was supposed to be a cleaning day.

I wasn’t long out of bed when a gaming friend asked me to log in to do some stuff with him. While we were hanging out I told him that I wasn’t going to renew my sub. He then offered to pay for my next months game time. Looks like that little slice of my life will continue for now.

I had a really relaxed day just playing games. I do feel a little bit guilty though, there is really so much adulting that I should have been doing.

Once the sun had set, I got about doing a few little creative things like timed French revision and then some knitting.

The knitting didn’t go so good. I had made a mistake, just like I thought and decided to start again. Attempt two of the gloves was going well until I made the same mistake by knitting the same row twice. I need to find a way to keep track of what I’m up to.

The first week of the family Happy List has officially wrapped up. Overall we did really great for a first attempt. It was extremely rewarding and encouraging marking things off the list and seeing others marking things off their list all week and it seemed to help all of us focus on getting things done.

The final scores:
Me – 100 / 100 | Wifey – 69.9 / 100 | Hubby – 90 / 100

30 Day Blog Challenge – All my answers will be posted here.

Day 2: Where would you like to be in 10 years?

I want to be healthy and happy and surrounded by my family. I want my house to feel like a safe home that truly showcases my personality and creativity, with an overflowing veggie garden. I want to have developed all the skills that I’m currently learning. I would love to be able to take a trip to France and speak French. Mostly, I would like to inspire people to change, grow, be creative and be the best they can be.

This week will be another creative filled delight. I can’t wait to get my paints out, draw, write, sing, workout and learn some new things. May it be a good week for all.

Tilly

Day 81

Today was a pretty chill day. I started with my last day of gaming for a few months. While I played well, everyone else I encountered reminded me of why I’m taking a break. It’s a good decision.

By early afternoon I wasn’t feeling very well and went back to bed to try and get some rest. It didn’t really work. Every time I dozed off I would wake abruptly, almost like I was shocked or reacting to a loud noise.

Late evening I did my French revision. I did about 20 minutes of timed levels. I’ve been enjoying the timed levels, not only because they give more points (and winning learning is fun) but because my brain seems to recall things faster when it feels like it has no other choice. My brain is the best. Check out Duolingo for all your language learning needs.

For the last minute creative stuff, I did a quick drawing of a flower garden inspired by;
30 Cool & Easy Things to Draw to Get Better at Art

I also knit some more of the gloves I started yesterday. I think I may have made a mistake though. I’ve been using the double moss stitch and even though I wrote it down and I make the row I’m working on ‘bold’ so I remember which row I’m on, I still forget what it is I’m actually doing. I fear I’ve done the same row twice.

The Weekly Happy list is set to wrap up today for hubby and I. My list was a very big creative task and took up more time than anticipated. Next week I’ll make some subtle changes but still aim for a creatively full week. It’s a great way to pass the time and feed my soul.

The last task on my Happy List is to start a new ‘challenge’. I’m still working on the photo challenge but I’d love to add one or two more challenge projects. I’ll need a little more practice before committing to a drawing or painting challenge, so I’ll start another writing challenge.

The 30 Day Blog Challenge has lots of interesting questions that will be confronting and challenging to answer. Getting to know me a little better isn’t a bad thing for me or you.

Day 1: Discus your current relationship.
I have been with my husband for 15 years in October. We were married in 2006. We have had our ups and downs but it’s a very stable relationship and I couldn’t imagine my life without his love, care and support.

I met wifey around 7 years ago in a virtual world. From the day we met, I knew she was special. She fell head over heels for me instantly. I told her I was married but it would still be possible to have a relationship. We talked everyday online for over four years before her first trip to stay with us.

Being in a three way relationship hasn’t been easy for any of us. I don’t think any of us really knew what to expect or how to act and react. The one constant has been that we consider ourselves a family and we’re determined to make this relationship work. Wifey is planning her 5th trip down under. We’re both looking forward to her being home.

Every trip we feel more like a family and it’s an incredible feeling. I feel truly blessed that I am loved by two amazing people and I have the chance to make two amazing people feel loved.

This is the second half of the ‘Dig a Little Deeper’ questions.

What was your favourite book as a child? I can’t name any one book in particular but I loved when my mum would read me Dr Seuss books.
Do you like your cereal crunchy or soggy? Crunchy. I usually only have a little bit of milk just to be on the safe side.
What would you like your legacy to be? I hope that I could inspire someone to be creative or to improve their life in some way.
Do you like reading? What was the last thing you read? I really don’t like reading but I think I’ve already mentioned that. The last thing I read was this list of questions about 47 times when I realised I’d missed a question and couldn’t work out which.
How do you show someone you love them? I care about and care for them.
Do you like ice in your drinks? In summer, I like a lot of ice in my drinks. In winter, one or two cubes is good.
What are you afraid of? Everything. The question would require less of an answer if it asked what aren’t I afraid of. I am afraid of everything from wildlife, to people, things outside, things inside and ghosts.
What is your favourite scent? Garlic and onions frying. Granted, I’m not going to wear that as perfume but I so very rarely wear perfume, I don’t have one I can name off the top of my head. I spend more time sniffing food than myself.
Do you address older people by their first or last name? By their first name. The only old people I talk to are related and they don’t mind me using their first name.
If money was not a factor, how would you live your life? On a yearly basis I’d; cruise for 3 months, live in Akaroa for 3 months, live in France for 3 months and spend the last 3 months of the year….wherever I felt like at the time. Plus cocktails, lots of cocktails.
Do you prefer swimming in pools or in the ocean? I love swimming in the ocean more than a pool but I hate sand, so I’d prefer a swimming pool. Although a swimming pool fed by ocean water would work.
What would you do if you found $50 on the ground? Slip it into my pocket, make shifty eyes and feel conflicted over keeping it vs finding the owner. Then I’d most likely find the owner.
Have you ever seen a shooting star? Did you make a wish? I can’t be sure. I’ve either made wishes over shooting stars or glorious air planes.
What is one thing you would want to teach your children? To be kind to people. Life isn’t going to improve if we can’t, at the very least, be kind to each other.
If you had to have a tattoo, what would it be and where would you get it? I would love lots of tattoos. I’d love something ocean related, music related, pin up related and a piece based on my favourite locket.
What can you hear right now? The TV show ‘Hoarders’.
Where do you feel the safest? I don’t feel safe anywhere. The only place I feel comfortable is in my home but I still don’t feel safe.
What is one thing you want to overcome/conquer? All my fears and issues. It’s going to take some time. I’ve spent 37 years building them and sometimes it feels like I’ll spend the next 37 years fixing them.
If you could travel back to any era, which would you choose? I feel like I would have fit in best between the 50s and late 60s.
What is your most used emoji? I don’t use emojis. They’re horrible little things. If you think about it, we’re just one step away from becoming cavemen (people) seeing people would rather express themselves with drawings on walls instead of words.
What is your favourite season? Why? I used to think Winter was and maybe it still is but while I’m sat huddled under robe and blanket, I think spring would be most welcome. I enjoy 20 degree days with a nice breeze.
How would you spend your ideal day? Surrounded by my family, eating a delicious cheese platter and indulging in arts, crafts and music.
Describe yourself using one word: Trying.
What do you regret the most? The person I’ve become.
Invent your own word. What does it mean? Deliciyum: Something slightly more yum than delicious.

Thanks for sticking this post out. If you read the madness, you’re good people.

Tilly.

Day 80

The day has gone so fast. I woke up when hubby did and then I sat huddled under a blanket, struggling to wake up. Soon as hubby left for work, I threw the blanket off and got to my workout. I think I pushed even harder today because I knew it was the last workout of the week.

I got my paint stuff out and then decided to write instead. I knew that painting could take up most of my day and I didn’t want to forget my writing practice. Once again the words flowed freely. I had planned on writing for about 20 minutes and ended up going for about an hour.

Soon as I stopped writing, I chose a picture to paint and started painting after a quick little drawing. I picked another picture from my shore trip to Akaroa. This one was just after we got off the tender boat and were walking along the jetty to the shore.

This painting was a lot harder than I thought it would be. It was great practice at creating thick tree cover. I also mixed my sky and ocean colours on the canvas by applying a few colours to the paintbrush at the same time.

For progress photos, please view Akaroa, New Zealand, Hillside

After painting, I sang for about 30 minutes before hubby got home. Hubby and I chatted about the day and I started a new knitting project. I’m going to make myself some pink gloves. I also got in about 30 minutes of French revision before dinner. I did some timed practices and got them all finished in time. That felt good.

Tomorrow is a rest day. I wish it was a day that I was spending in bed. This week has made me pretty tired. Tomorrow will also be my last gaming day for a little while. I’ve really been enjoying all the new stuff that I’ve been doing and really need an extra day to get things done.

Good luck if you’re in the midst of life changes. May your decisions lead you to a brighter future filled with smiles and love.

Tilly

Day 79

Before I start talking about my day, I’m going to share the painting that I painted yesterday. I took it outside to get a photo in the sunlight. I think it helped a little bit.

This was my first time painting a sailboat. It’s based on a photo I took in Akaroa, New Zealand. For progress pictures and more information, please visit my site: Three Peas, One Pod.

I got up on time today. Amazing! I guess that’s the result of being in bed before midnight. I’ll have to try doing that again tonight.

Soon as hubby left for work, I worked out. It was another good workout. Feeling it in my muscles tonight.

I spent a big part of the day with wifey on Discord. Things have gotten a little less hectic for her and we’ve been able to spend some time together. It’s wonderful. I miss her so much. Once I had e-tucked her into bed for the night, I started working on the daily things from my Happy List.

I’d been avoiding the dishes for a few days, so I finally got those out of the way then I spent a good 30 minutes writing. Even when I don’t think I’ll have the words, they just seem to flow. After that I did some little easy drawings from 30 Cool & Easy Things to Draw to Get Better at Art. I finished up the day with 30 minutes of French revision. I’ll probably stick to the revision until next week, just so I can be sure I’m on top of it all.

To see how to draw these things, go to:
30 Cool & Easy Things to Draw to Get Better at Art

Tomorrow will be my last chance to paint before the end of the week and the wrap up of the happy list, so that’s what I’ll do. I’ve really enjoyed the week of creativity, although I think I had a little too much on my creative plate.

Next week will be another creative feast.

Tilly

Day 78

Hubby left for work at 6.30 am and that’s when I crawled out of bed. I was hoping to spend a little time with wifey before I got about my day but she was napping. I fiddled with a few mindless mobile games and felt the sads creeping upon me. Instead of wallowing in it, I got to my workout and really pushed myself, squeezed muscles and made sure that if it could be worked out, that it was.

Once that was done I thought I’d take advantage of the nice morning light and get some painting done. I set up my paints, sat down to leave wifey a message and got distracted with singing. I sang a few songs and enjoyed the music so much I made an Indie playlist that I could listen to while painting.

Check out my Indie Vibes playlist on Youtube.

From about 10 am until 5 pm, I was painting. The painting was based on a picture I took many years ago when we were in Akaroa, New Zealand. We were on a 14 day cruise around New Zealand and that is one of the shore days. It’s one of my favourite shore days. You have to take a little boat from the cruise ship to the shore. There is also an amazing restaurant there called Bully Hayes. I hope to get back there one day.

I’ll post all the painting stuff tomorrow. I finished so late it was impossible to get a good photo with the light I have available. Hopefully I can get a great shot of it tomorrow. I’m proud of this painting.

I do have something to share today, my ‘out a window’ photo for this weeks Let’s Do 52 – 52 Week Photo Challenge. Being that I don’t leave the house, what windows I have to get a shot out of are limited. The backyard doesn’t have a lot in it to take pictures, the front yard has even less. I didn’t think a picture of the neighbours house was really worthy either.

Yesterday, we had a visit from a White-faced Heron. They like to forage for bugs. It’s not the first time we’ve seen one of these birds. He was prowling around the greenhouse when I captured the picture through the back window.

It was so hard to get the shot. I had limited room, had to zoom in as far as my camera would go and then of course, the heron had to be in the shot. I snapped a handful of shots but this one was my favourite. It’s kind of mysterious and the shadows are lovely.

Seeing most of my day was taken up with painting, I didn’t get much else done. I can say that I did do some drawing, not a lot but it happened. I practised drawing the sailboat before trying to paint it.

I did get in 30 minutes of French. I finished the ‘people’ topic. I’m not sure I’m ready to move on to new things, so looks like it’ll be back to the practice level for a couple of days. I did remember more words today and I think I’ve worked out when to use ‘a’ or ‘en’ (the French word for ‘in’, just missing an accent or two). Practice, practice, practice.

I didn’t get round to writing practice today, so I’m going to do a bit of a ‘get to know me’ type questionnaire. You can find the ‘Dig a Little Deeper’ questions here. I’ll do half tonight and half another night this week. If you’re game, enjoy.

Do you prefer writing with black or blue pen? I’ll say blue pen only because I’m using a blue pen at the moment and I like it.
Would you prefer to live in the country or the city? In the country, for sure. If I’m going to be surrounded by something, I’d prefer it to be peace and quiet, nature and stars.
If you could learn a new skill, what would it be? I’m learning lots of new things already, so I’m not sure what the next one would or should be, yet.
Do you drink your tea or coffee with sugar? I drink coffee with sugar.
Do you prefer baths or showers? I’d say showers. It’s nice to wash the day away, instead of soaking in it. Plus, I’ve never lived anywhere with a bath that accommodates my long legs.
If you could be a mythical creature, which would you choose? Mermaid. I love the ocean. I feel like it would be such a peaceful life.
Do you prefer reading paper or electronic books? I don’t really like reading. I have the attention span of a flea with a bad attention span. Although, I like when wifey reads me books and she does it on an electronic device, sooooo…. electronic.
What is your favourite item of clothing? Black or dark blue skinny jeans. It took me many years to want to wear them and now you can’t get me out of them.
Do you like your name? Would you ever change it? I don’t like my name. I will most likely change it.
Who is a mentor to you? I don’t have a mentor.
Would you ever want to be famous? If so, what for? I’ve always wanted to be famous. A famous singer or photographer. I’d settle for any sort of creative medium fame.
Are you a restless sleeper? Sometimes. I’m definitely more restless when I’m in pain.
Do you consider yourself a romantic? I’m unconventionally romantic.
Which element best represents you? Definitely one of them.
Who do you want to be closer to? Wifey. She lives too far away.
Do you miss someone at the moment? I always miss my mum.
Tell us about an early childhood memory. I really don’t remember a lot of my childhood. I’ve manged to block most of it out because of all the bad things I lived through. The few fleeting memories I have, aren’t really that nice. Others are just memories of photos. I really don’t have an answer.
What is the strangest thing you have eaten? I know it’s not that wild but when I was young, I used to love eating Lamb’s Fry. (Lamb livers.) My granddad would fry them and put them in a bacon gravy. I would eat them cold on a sandwich, with tomato sauce.
What can you see outside your bedroom window? The neighbours house across the street. I wish we had some trees or a window box with flowers.
What are you most thankful for? I’m thankful that I own my own home.
Do you like spicy food? Yes but not too spicy.
Have you ever met someone famous? Low level famous, definitely. I got Arj Barker to sign my boobs one year at the Melbourne Comedy Festival.
Do you keep a diary or journal? I feel like this blog is a diary, so yes.
Do you prefer a pen or pencil? I prefer a keyboard. Whoever wrote these questions has a strange obsession with old fashioned writing tools.
What is your star sign? Cancer

If you read all this, you are my favourite! I hope you have the best week.

Tilly

Day 77

I woke up just as hubby was leaving for work. I haven’t been sleeping the best the last few nights, so it’s been much harder to get out of bed. I’m also missing out on an afternoon nap because I’m trying to fill my days with creative. I’m tired.

I spent the first hour of being awake with wifey on Discord. I can’t wait til she gets back here. Mornings are always easier when she is here. I still did my workout but it was a little later than normal and it was over before I even realised. I pushed through it about 4 minutes faster today.

Once I had e-tucked wifey into bed, I got about another day of happy list goals. One of my goals is to draw every day this week. This was a big ask, mainly because, I have no idea how to draw. I feel like I should be able to draw. I can see with my eyes, my brain can tell my hand what it sees, my hand should be able to do the job. That’s not really the case. I’m going to keep practising and stick to my 6 day drawing goal.

Today I tried drawing a vintage perfume bottle. I copied it from a photo I took at an Art Deco shop in Napier, New Zealand.

I also worked on a short story for 30 minutes. I still have no idea what the story is about but it seems to be unfolding nicely. It’s a bit dark and I’m not sure I’d ever show anyone but it’s writing practice.

Then, I spent a couple of hours singing. I’m trying to put together a list of songs to record to share. I’m going to make sure to get lots of practice in over the next couple of weeks before I try to record anything.

Finally I finished all the creative off with 30 minutes of French. I feel like I did better at French today. Words that were hard to remember yesterday, are easier today. Some, I still have no idea about.

There will be more of the same tomorrow.

Tilly

Day 76

I woke just before it was time to get up but I just couldn’t face the day at 6.30 am, so I went back to sleep until about 8.20 am. I woke close to when I’d normally workout but pushed it back by 30 minutes. I wanted to keep pushing it back all day. I knew that’d be a bad idea though, so I just worked out.

I’m starting to feel discouraged about my progress. I guess things are changing but it’s either happening so slowly that I’m not noticing and feeling it or it’s bigger changes than I realise and I’ve just got a really warped perception of myself. It’s probably the perception thing. I know I have made some changes but it just never feels like enough. I never feel like I’m enough.

There is so much I need to change and so much I need to do to even feel human again. I don’t remember what it’s like to not be in pain and I don’t remember what it’s like to not feel depressed.

Today feels like a day where I should give up. If it wasn’t for a new family happiness project, that we started today, I think I would have. For the next few days, I think I’ll just be going through the motions but if that’s what it takes to get me over the line, so be it.

The family happiness project is based on something I thought of doing many years ago. The idea is to create a weekly list of 10 things that would make you feel happier if you did them. They don’t have to be big life changes, just small, achievable goals. There is no punishment. If you only do three things, that’s three things more than the previous week and you have the opportunity to do better the next week.

‘Just do anything that is more than nothing’ – Matilda Collins

I asked hubby and wifey if they’d like to join me in this new weekly challenge. They both thought it was a great idea and today is the day it all starts.

Every Tuesday I will post our weekly goals here: The Happy List

At the end of the week, I will update our progress with a score out of 100. Each goal is worth 10 points. We have 6 days to achieve our goals.

I did a number of things from my list including drawing for an hour, worked on a short story for about 30 minutes, brushed my hair (I really dislike brushing my hair) and I met my daily water goal on time.

I also did 30 minutes of French. The first 15 minutes was working through the ‘people’ levels. The last 15 minutes I decided to just do the revision level. I don’t think I was very focused. I’m having trouble with a few little joining words and knowing when to add an ‘s’ to the end of words.

It doesn’t matter if tomorrow is a good or bad day, I will continue to get things done. It’s got to get easier one day, right?

Tilly